Wounds and Scars
by ajrandoodles
Summary: The story focuses on Clarke as she deals with the consequences that followed the defeat of The Mountain. In the midst of all the drama, new problems arise. (Details are slowly being added. I sincerely apologize for the VERY LONG hiatus. Will add more chapters as soon as I possibly can.)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It's been eight days since it all ended.

Hundreds of people had been wiped out, betrayed by the doors that kept them safe. Young or old, guilty or innocent - no one was spared. The dome that used to shelter a thriving community was soaked in the blood of its own residents. If a choice presented itself, there would not have been a need for such violence. Because, despite the inevitability of bloodshed, there _was_ a plan. It _was_ clear, it _was_ specific, and it was supposed to be quick. _No one had to die_. But as plans change in battle, so do other things.

The guilty become innocent, and the innocent become guilty.

Clarke didn't know who she was anymore, and what she was at that point. She shouldn't feel guilty for saving her people, but then again her innocence was gone long before that. And she hated it, because the words 'innocent' and 'guilty' no longer have a proper meaning. Instead they were just words used interchangeably too much that they've now lost credibility.

For that she had to leave, and as much as she felt horrible for doing so, she felt the need to. Was she being selfish? Maybe. A little. But if she stayed any longer than she should have, it would've been more unfair to the people who loved her witness her suffering.

She would have to be away for a long time and reflect on every decision she's made since she's _graced_ the earth with her presence. She would have to learn how to hunt, and defend herself. She would have to seek shelter and gather supplies as her journey would require her to. She would have to live, and survive – this time on her own.

For Clarke, it wasn't eight days since it all ended. It was eight days since it all began.

* * *

Her body slumped as hunger and exhaustion took over. Her attempts at foraging weren't that fruitful, and although she had been able to collect a few berries along the way, some proved to be a little poisonous, and she had to learn the hard way. The ones that were harmless helped her recover, but they weren't enough.

She tried to hunt once, but to no avail. She stalked rabbits, but they all seemed to outsmart her. She did spot a deer, but after her encounter with a two-headed beast of its kind, she went on with her life. There was this boar resting by a nearby clearing, so she took the chance to make it her meal. She moved closer to her target, carefully aiming at the animal's fatal areas. But her movements were slow and clumsy, and just as she took position; a snapping twig gave her away. She managed to shoot, but even though her bullets were fast, they couldn't stop the boar from fleeing. Then again it wasn't the bullets.

She had been able to catch fish, but only when the waters seemed safe enough to step into. She wouldn't dare dipping in the deeper parts, as it reminded her of Octavia's experience. But for someone with total lack of skill, she took it as a triumph whenever she speared just enough to get her by.

Still, her attempts at gaining food for herself were frail. It made her weak, and her journey wasn't making it easy.

She had been walking ever since she left Camp Jaha. She had no reason to stay at one place for more than a few hours, except to rest. She only stopped for a few minutes to gather supplies, or collect water from a nearby source. She would sometimes stop and marvel at the earth's beauty, but she would never stop to linger. It was always too painful.

* * *

Where she was headed _exactly_ was not her biggest concern. All she wanted was to find a place to stay without being bothered. She preferred somewhere far, far from all the madness, somewhere… unfamiliar.

But then again she had nowhere to go. She couldn't go back to Camp Jaha, at least not yet. She didn't want to return to Mount Weather. She had already gone there to take a few supplies but she had already taken too much aside from material need. She didn't want to go back to the dropship. Too many ghosts had taken residence. The bunker was totally out of the question. Some things are better off buried.

There was nowhere else to go… or at least, that's what she wanted herself to believe. _Polis._ It sounded promising. But the last person she wanted to see was probably there. That person, whose name Clarke cannot bring to utter without choking, wouldn't even care. Who was she again, Leslie? Leonard? Who cares. Clarke didn't. She didn't want to. And even if she did, that person probably thinks she was already dead anyway so why bother.

* * *

Clarke took a few minutes to clean herself. Every single day, she would find a stream or river and clean herself… and let her mind forget the horrible memory of blood and death. She cleaned every inch of her body, trying her very best to scrub off every bit of dirt that settled in her skin. She would close her eyes and stay underwater for a few minutes, thinking to herself and reevaluating every decision she had made since day one. And by day one, she meant the day she had forged an alliance with…

She would change her clothes every day, switching her battle gear with the clothes she had taken and washing them, in order to keep herself neat. This habit had been all too… unhealthy for her. It showed how much her guilt had consumed her. And as days went by, she could no longer distinguish guilt from the crippling loneliness she kept pushing down her being.

Her denial was cloaked in a clean version of what once were bloodstained hands. She would stare at them hoping that they would somehow tremble and shake, if only to bite off the emptiness that she felt. Sometimes she would urge herself to cry, but no tears have fallen ever since she last spoke to her people and that formed a huge lump in her throat. She had often thought about throwing herself off a cliff, but it was only to entertain the idea of feeling intense pain because frankly, it was what she needed.

She wanted to feel guilt and pain. She wanted to feel sorrow and shame. But after all that effort of pushing down every ounce of pain, the emotions have gone. There used to be, and she hated them for haunting her. She wished hard and fought hard to destroy all the feelings that sought to break her, but now, this lack of feeling made her miserable and less… human.

* * *

The sun had set when Clarke found refuge in a large tree with a huge cavity in the middle. She let herself in and was delighted to find a space small enough for her to pass the night in comfort. Her heart felt warm and contented.

But she didn't allow that small feeling of content to lower her defenses. She took the time to dig a small pit and placed sticks to support the patch of leaves that lay atop. That would at least prevent dangerous creatures from feeding on her while she slept. She couldn't be too careless, not in this day and age.

After covering her trap, she prepared dinner. It consisted of a few berries and a tiny strip of fish. She had a batch of clean water and that was enough. Well… it was all she could manage. Nevertheless, she was full and she couldn't be happier.

She stripped her jacket and covered herself as she lay on the ground. She took in a deep breath and exhaled in pure pleasure. She enjoyed every bit of comfort she was feeling at that moment, because tomorrow would be another day. Another challenge. Another uncertain future.

* * *

Just as she was blinks away from falling asleep, quick movements rustled the leaves surrounding the tree. Clarke was forced into abandoning her sanctuary as she took out the dagger sheathed in her belt. Her gun had long ago run out of bullets so this piece of blade had become her primary weapon.

She took a step out of the tree carefully to avoid falling into her own trap. She watched the trees vigilantly, and searched the area quickly as if her eyes were trained for that purpose. She listened to the sounds of the forest, remembering how her eight days of wandering had taught her ears to distinguish the sounds of nature from that of intruders.

She could hear it, breathing. The breaths were short and fast, too fast. It was as if something or someone was struggling to catch air. Clarke gripped the dagger harder, and cautiously searched the area behind the tree she was staying in. Her heart was racing.

The breaths grew louder, but somehow slower… raspier. Clarke approached the source and was about to end its plea when all of a sudden, the sight caused her to drop her weapon and then drop on her knees. There it was right in front of her, youth and beauty bathed in blood and fear.

She carefully reached out her hand to the wounded girl. There was a clear picture of horror painted across her face.

"Don't be afraid; I'll help you."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The sun had not risen when Clarke left to retrieve water. Before heading back, she took a few minutes to stare at her reflection. Somehow, she looked a little less tense. She took a few walks around the area to look for berries and luckily, she got a handful. That got her pumped up, since the last time she had that much food on her hands was like an eternity ago.

Determined to push her luck, she took a long stick and not-so-expertly sharpened its end, hoping to have fish for breakfast. The first time her spear hit the water was an instant hit, and so was the next, and the one after that. It really was a lucky day. She caught three fish, all of them much smaller than her hands but food was rather rare and essential, so no complaints.

Clarke came back in less than an hour and to her surprise, or was it dismay, she saw her companion roasting something that looked like a rabbit. Her companion looked like she had caught the animal just a few minutes before her arrival. She scanned the area and saw a bloody lump of fur laid carefully on the ground. It definitely was a rabbit.

Clarke sat beside her companion and roasted her own catch. She was proud of it, it was the most she had caught in one day, and it was very satisfying. The girl eyed her curiously as she watched the blonde hand half of her berries. Clarke gave her a small nod, and the girl took it, but she dropped them on the dirt beside her almost immediately. Confused, Clarke attempted to get the berries back but when the girl gave her a reassuring look, she offered water instead.

They both ended up sitting in front of their meal and waited for it to cook.

* * *

Clarke ate, no, _devoured_ her share of the rabbit quickly. It wasn't as great as boar meat but it definitely was better than the fish she only sometimes caught, and her hunger only made it even more delicious. She took one of the fish and consumed it even more quickly, and just as she was about to stuff the berries in her mouth, the girl halted her.

"Poison."

Embarrassed, Clarke threw the berries and sat closer to her companion. She wanted to ask the girl how she knew it was poisonous when she noticed rashes forming in her hands. She immediately washed them, while the girl handed a salve which she generously applied on her hands.

"You look very young. How old are you?" There was no response. "Do you understand English? Um… Trigedasleng? Uhh…" Clarke rattled her brain for words Octavia had taught her when she first studied the dialect. She struggled for the words to come out but luckily, the girl stood and spoke… and saved Clarke from another round of embarrassment.

"I am called Keren. Twelve years old. I understand your language… and speak it as well."

Clarke marveled at the sight of the girl. She looked beautiful with dark, brown hair and hazel eyes. She looked fierce in her mask of paint, and her muscles slightly toned, perhaps in countless training. Clad in her grounder gear, Keren looked nothing like a child. Her eyes were locked on to hers with such intensity, as if it had already seen the horrors of the world.

But looking at her closely, Clarke saw how fragile and tiny her body was. She stood five inches shorter than Clarke, and despite the presence of muscles, the girl was practically skin and bone compared to her. The large cut which Clarke had tended to the night before was proof of how exposed this girl was. But there was almost no trace of that vulnerability Clarke had witnessed. There was only stubbornness and composure.

Clarke shivered at the memory of a young, fearless leader who once stood by her side and it brought an aching sensation to her chest. It was almost… no it was _definitely_ just like staring at a younger version of…

"I thank you for this," Keren said, pointing to the strips of cloth wrapped around her leg.

Clarke motioned for the girl to sit beside her. "You're welcome. I'm happy to help."

Keren nodded to Clarke's response. There was so much more that Clarke wanted to ask her. She carefully examined Keren's features, hoping it would send a hint. And it did.

"We were attacked. No, ambushed. Our village was set on fire. Many were injured."

Clarke saw the girl take a deep breath. In only twelve years, this girl has experienced so much. She could tell by the way Keren carried herself. Clarke had never seen a child act so bravely as her.

"The village I lived in is home to not more than thirty people. It was built by wives who had lost their husbands to the war against the mountain. A few sons remain, most of them my age. We take turns in guarding the village and hunting for food."

Clarke remembered the first day they were sent to Earth. How they tried to build a community out of the wreck. How they took it upon themselves to establish some sort way to survive the unknown. How they were able to stand up despite being repeatedly tested again and again and again.

"I was out on a long hunting trip with my mother and two other warriors. We left at daybreak and arrived at the village before sunset, bringing with us meat that could last a week. When we arrived, half the village had been burned to the ground."

Flashes of fire began to cloud Clarke's mind and in an instant, she remembered how she burned 300 of the grounders to their death. She remembered how awful the scene was and the feeling went straight to her stomach.

"No one saw who started the fire, so most of the people concerned themselves with saving what was left. Some of them asked help from other villages. I on the other hand, volunteered to find the culprit, as did the other warriors of my age."

Clarke watched as the young girl composed herself. There was no way this sweet girl was expected to find and probably execute the perpetrator. And the other children, how could they possibly stand against danger much older than them? And then she remembered Charlotte, and her friend Wells. And she realized that if a grief-stricken child like her had the ability to put down an innocent man, a guilty man would have less chances of survival against a child armed with revenge.

Keren looked at her wound and clenched her teeth. Clarke could only offer a hand and a sympathetic look. That culprit was still probably out there and this poor child had to suffer, she thought.

"He killed them!" Clarke's eyes widened as the young girl rose to her feet. "I saw two of my friends hanging from a tree, their faces swollen with bruises. T-The other one had his head smashed on a huge rock. There was blood everywhere." Clarke could feel the young girl trembling until she broke into tears. "E-Edra," she whimpered as she retrieved a bundle of hair from her pocket.

Clarke caught the girl before she fell on her knees. "I couldn't save Edra. I couldn't—I should've done something!" Keren's cries grew louder. Seeing the bold, brave Keren break into pieces broke Clarke's heart.

"I just stood there. H-he snapped her neck in front of me and left. And I held her. Her lifeless body… I…" Tears rushed Clarke's face before she even realized it. Without a word, she hugged the girl tightly, offering only the warmth of her embrace. Keren buried her face in Clarke's shoulders and wept.

And at that moment, Clarke remembered. _"Lexa..."_

* * *

Clarke offered to bring Keren back to their village. She was happy when the young girl agreed, so they wasted no time and started walking. It was only a 2-hour walk from the tree. But before they headed there, Keren led her to a clearing, just a few meters away from Clarke's shelter. The blonde's jaw dropped in horror and guilt as she stared at the lifeless man's body.

"He had to pay. I fought him, and I swore on Edra that I would kill him for her."

Clarke swallowed hard as the words echoed through her ears. Her eyes locked on to the dead man's eyes. _Carl Emerson._ And for the first time, Clarke heard the coldest line come out of a child's mouth.

"Jus drein, jus daun."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It had taken the pair less than two hours to reach the markers near the village. A few meters more and they would already reach the entrance.

To Clarke, the journey seemed way longer. _Carl Emerson._ She couldn't believe it, the man who aided in her friends' torture… the man who helped ruin the growing trust between the sky people and the grounders. He survived.

Surprisingly, her heart felt lighter knowing that at least one of the mountain men survived the slaughter she initiated, and at that very moment, his doings didn't matter to her. He was able to escape the mountain. He was able to leave… and he was able to… find his way to the village, and the children. And he brought death upon them.

Then it hit her. It was all her fault. If she had only found an alternative, another way to defeat the mountain men, Emerson wouldn't have had to carry the burden of his people's death. He wouldn't have had the urge to seek revenge and take it out on anyone, anyone. He wouldn't have made his way to the village. He couldn't have burned it to the ground. He couldn't have killed all those children. Her heart sank at the sick realization.

A bitter taste rose up her throat and threatened to escape. She tried to hold it in but the sensation overwhelmed her.

"Take this."

Clarke took a few drops of mint-flavored liquid handed to her by Keren. It took away the awful taste, but it didn't take away the guilt. Of course it didn't.

* * *

Upon entering the village, a young woman ran towards them and lifted Keren. A moment of sadness enveloped the atmosphere as Keren delivered the news. Nevertheless, Clarke could see the relief painted on the woman's face. And as she placed a hand on the brave girl, the weeping child who Clarke saw just a few hours ago had faded.

The two exchanged words in native tongue that Clarke could only understand based on their interactions. A few powerful words, and something that sounded like a scolding, and just like that, the vulnerable young girl had been replaced with a confident little warrior. Clarke couldn't help but think about another brave warrior. And it made her sad, because it was only at that moment that she realized how little she knew her.

The woman looked at Clarke with grateful eyes. "My people call me Imara." The two women exchanged bows. Clarke had second thoughts on introducing herself. Would Imara recognize the name Clarke Griffin? Would she fear the murderous girl who fell from the sky? Clarke's eyes fell on the tiny warrior beside her. Seeing how Keren trusted her without proper introduction, it seemed unnecessary for her to do so. "My daughter said you saved her. Thank you. If there is anything I can offer you, do not hesitate to ask."

Clarke did hesitate, even if she was dying to ask for any sort of comfort. She really wanted to stay. She had her reasons. But she couldn't bring herself to speak up knowing that it was her who indirectly caused this destruction. A structure that used to be a meat house was burnt to crisp. A few of the tents remain undamaged, but the rest were burned to nothing. The food that Keren spoke of was shared among the people, but most of them were too busy trying to repair the damages instead of filling their stomachs. Women and children carried materials heavy or not, and tried their best to rebuild their community.

Clarke's chest pounded, moved by the scene she was witnessing. She wanted to exert some effort too, if only to make up for the damages she indirectly inflicted, so she offered to carry some of the wood Imara had picked up. Grateful, the young woman offered her a smile and led her to a small tent which seemed to have been put up only a few hours ago.

"Keren had mentioned you were living in a tree." Clarke's face turned red in embarrassment.

"Well, I have been wandering around looking for a place to stay."

"You need not worry. You may stay here for as long as you want."

She wanted to, she really did. But she couldn't just accept it. "No, I really can't—

"Call this my way of thanking you for saving my daughter. It is certainly better than being out in the forest with no one to watch your back." Clarke wanted to protest, but this was it. This gift, this was what she needed. And it wasn't the tent, or safety. No. The young mother offered her something more—the one thing even she couldn't give herself—a second chance.

"Plus I will take it an insult if you do not accept," she said jokingly.

"Thank you, Imara. I really appreciate the gesture." Imara's eyes lit up in delight. It reminded her of her own mother, and it made her heart swell. "I haven't properly introduced myself. My name is—

"You do not need to tell me who you are. I can tell you have wounds carved by your past. Who you were before you came here is none of my concern. You have proven yourself to be good and that is enough for me. Please, make yourself at home."

* * *

The day passed by quickly. Everyone performed each of their responsibilities well. They worked their individual tasks swiftly and coordinated into pairs and small groups. No second was wasted. It was one of the things Clarke admired about the grounders, and one of the many things that reminded her of the sky people. By sunset everything was set in place. Every family had roofs above their heads, even if those roofs were of leaves and sticks and pieces of tattered cloth.

By night time, they all gathered around to mourn the dead. A bright fire was lit in the middle of the village. It was brief, but the silence said it all.

The quiet didn't last long. They all gathered and shared dinner. They told stories about the brave children who had given their lives. How their deaths would not be forgotten, and how they would fight to keep the community safe as they had intended to. Clarke could not help but admire the strength of these people. How badly she wished she could be like them.

* * *

Dinner ended and everyone took their well-earned rest. The cold night that used to bite Clarke's skin no longer bothered her. The sounds of the forest had now been replaced by the music of slumber. It was soothing.

Clarke could not be more thankful than she already is. Sure, eight days ago, she was struggling to accept the position she was in. At first, all she did was blame Lexa. For two days all she could do was curse that name. All her irrational thoughts revolved around the commander. She hated every single thing that reminded her of that traitor. She would picture that scene all over again and all the anger would seep into her skin and enter her veins. In her mind, all she wanted was to see Lexa dead. All she wanted was to hurt Lexa, tie her up like she did Finn and Raven. Slash her open like she did Gustus. Torture her like they did Lincoln. But how could she, when the warrior everybody feared and hated, she could only describe as _dangerously beautiful_?

On the third day, she realized it was her decision that led to the death of many lives. It wasn't Lexa's fault; she did what she had to do. That day she felt sick to her core, she was furious at herself for blaming the only person who could possibly understand her. She kept crying, and every time she remembered the commander, and the faces of the dead, she would cry again. Up until the present, she would still blame herself. But she could no longer cry. She could no longer feel. She had made attempts to get herself to feel the tiniest bit of remorse but it wasn't there. And that was the worst.

The night had gone darker; the fire no longer peeked through her tent. It was time to rest. Eight days was enough for her to clear her mind. Any more than that and she would've lost it. She knew herself better than anyone else. If she had kept wandering, she wouldn't have stopped. And if she did stop, what forces could've transpired to cause her halt? Well at least, she didn't have to find out.

* * *

The sun shone brightly on Clarke's face as morning rose. She stretched her arms and had one of her best mornings yet. She stood and made stretches, a luxury she had lost in the forest due to other priorities.

A commotion caught her attention, and caused her to peek through the gaps of her walls. Greetings in Trigedasleng echoed in the village. Her heart was racing. She could feel herself involuntarily backing away from the hole when she saw Imara pointing towards her tent.

 _It can't be. This can't be happening._ She wasn't ready. She wanted to run, and she was about to. She took her bag and was about to leave or hide or do whatever it took to get away from her current situation when the flaps to her tent opened.

"Greetings, Clarke of the Sky People."

And there she was, standing dumbstruck right in front of one of the bravest and strongest warriors she had ever known.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Clarke stood shocked for a minute. The person who stood before her was not who she expected, _at all_. When she saw the crowd gathering outside, her thoughts raced, and her heart went into a panic. At that very moment, she remembered the feeling of being in the presence of a brave, fearless leader who put the needs of her people before herself. In that tiny split of a second, upon seeing Imara point towards her tent, she expected to see _that_ warrior. Not this rather, confident, intimidating soldier, who if anything, also ranks high in her list of true warriors.

"Clarke," the woman repeated, putting emphasis on the 'k'. Clarke cringed at the tone with which her name was spoken. It was so grounder, and yet, not the way she remembered it. Not the way she adored it.

"Indra. To what do I owe… I mean. Is there anything… Why are you…?" She couldn't understand the situation she was in. The presence of this warrior seemed so unlikely, although she remembered Keren mentioning that some of their people had asked help from other villages. But Tondc couldn't have responded that fast. To her knowledge, her journey had taken her far enough that it would take at least a day and a half from Tondc to this village. Then again, Indra couldn't have been in Tondc, she could've been stationed somewhere near.

Clarke didn't have time to dissect everything. Her hands began to tremble, and it was not a pleasant sight. She tried to speak again, hoping to recompose herself, but something about Indra's presence concerned her. And it concerned her even more when the general took a step forward, while raising her right brow.

"Did eight days in the wilderness impede your ability to speak?" The woman looked at her viciously, and it frightened the blonde. And much as she wanted to just run away and jump into a pit, Clarke remained frozen on her feet, so instead, she clenched her fists nervously.

"I expected you to be tougher, sky girl. Then again, we all expected you to be dead." Clarke furrowed her eyebrows at the rude remark. But before she could muster the courage to talk the warrior down, Indra spoke words the blonde never thought would come out of the warrior. "But I want you to know that I prefer you to be alive. The world could not afford to lose a warrior of your caliber."

With that, the general exited and began coordinating with Imara and the rest of the adults.

* * *

Indra and her men had brought along clothes and supplies. Imara gathered the other adults and together, they planned how they would divide everything fairly. Keren on the other hand, picked the smaller clothes and distributed them to the other children, making sure that they would receive their share before she did.

Clarke, who had finally snapped out of her trance, helped in every way she could. She helped them unload and distribute everything. She even suggested determining which families should receive the clothes first in order to prioritize those who suffered more damages, to which everyone strongly agreed. The supplies were distributed to everyone, and the excess were given to those who needed them more.

While grouping the clothes in tops and bottoms, Clarke realized that the clothes the grounders wore were basically the same clothes on the ark. Well of course, the sky people had to base off their designs from the ones on Earth, but she didn't actually see that until then. Granted, they had more ragged, rough-looking and tattered clothes, they also had long-sleeved shirts, tank tops, basic tees and even hoodies. They had coats, flannels, skinny jeans, and, genuine leather jackets that she only saw in books. They also had shorts that looked really stylish. They had a few binders for the breasts, and they also had bras and various lingerie. They even had accessories like scarves, and belts—things she didn't seem to notice underneath the thick mask of paint and armor. She couldn't suppress the smile that crept in her face when she dared to imagine how the commander would look like in any of those clothes.

Upon distributing the supplies, Clarke discovered that the grounders were more hygienic than she originally expected. They had small orange bars that appeared to be soap, and they smelled like oranges. They also had tiny bottles that contained viscous liquid, and they looked and smelled very much like shampoo. They also had stones that were evenly rough, meaning they were perfect for removing dirt on the skin. They also had hand towels. And it didn't stop at skin care. They had smooth wooden sticks with soft bristles at one end, a very simplistic toothbrush design. And of course, they had their own toothpaste in flat containers, which according to Imara, was a paste from coconut oil and baking soda mixed with mint for fresh breath. No wonder her warm lips tasted good that day.

The grounders were also keen on keeping their own medical kits. There were bottles of different liquids, and containers with different salves and creams. There were bandages and clean strips of cloth. There were also larger bottles, which she believed to contain alcohol. While these were distributed among families, a bigger share was handed over to their healer for safe keeping.

One other thing that amazed the sky girl was the grounders' fascination for braids and paint. At one point, a little girl asked her to braid her hair, which she did. The rest of the younger residents had asked her to do the same which was kind of weird but endearing at the same time. And then the same girl asked her to apply paint on her left cheek, which Clarke accomplished so splendidly that the others watching praised her for her artistic skills. How she wished this girl was…

* * *

After all distributions were made, food was prepared. Not long after, everyone shared lunch, including Indra. The crowd was livelier, Clarke thought. The dinner they shared the night before was filled with deep emotions, and deeper wounds. Today, the village was brighter. She could hear laughter. She could even hear them crack jokes, and even though most were in broken English, she appreciated how they spoke in familiar tongue and for the record, the jokes were very hilarious. In the light of day, she can see the grounders drinking alcohol, and truth be told, it was a very pleasing sight for Clarke.

But the most uplifting scene at that moment was the sight of Keren laughing and acting like a child. She was after all, a 12-year-old. The peace written all over the girl's face was very comforting. Her smile was a beauty, and it was very relaxing to see the warrior bare her armor for once. It gave her an even bigger reason to believe that the grounders and sky people were the same people.

Clarke looked around to observe the faces of the people. There was happiness all around. It's as if the fire that burned half the village was just a nightmare, and the people have recovered from it. From across the table, she can see Indra's face. It was stoic, but she could see the faintest hint of smiles whenever the grounders took turns in sharing jokes. However, when Clarke tried to give Indra a nod of respect, the warrior's face turned completely stiff, her jaws were clenched, and her eyes were glassy.

* * *

Lunch ended, and the children automatically assumed their responsibilities. The adults were thankful to have children like them.

Clarke excused herself, and approached the general who acted just slightly out of the ordinary. She couldn't hide her concern.

"Indra?"

"Clarke." Her voice wavered unexpectedly.

"Is there… something I should know?" She could see the woman swallow hard, and it made the blonde nervous.

"Eight days," she started, shifting her body towards the curious sky girl. "It took us eight days to find you, a foreigner who knew nothing of the wilderness, and a girl who, even in the thick of the forest, would still stand out. Eight days we searched, and we found you when we didn't intend to look."

"Fate, I guess." Clarke said jokingly, hoping to tease the warrior. However, it only made Indra more intimidating. "Okay, why were you looking for me in the first place?"

"We need you, Clarke of the Sky People. As much as I hate to admit it, we need you now more than ever."

The words took time to register. The grounders, needing her help? Even after they left her people—which she had already come to terms with, but still—to die? What did Indra think could possibly convince her to help them? This was practically the biggest joke she'd heard the entire day.

"Why… do you need my help?"

"Because… again, as much as it pains me to admit, only you have the ability to solve this problem."

"With all due respect, what makes you think I would I even help you in the first place? You know, after everything that happened."

"The commander."

"What? You think the commander can convince me to help you with your problem?" The words left her mouth fast, pained upon hearing the title. "I don't think so."

"The commander… can't help us convince you."

"Then why bring her up in the first place?" Clarke said, no shouted, her voice filled with emotions she didn't realize she bottled.

"Because… the commander _is_ the problem."

"W-what? What are you talking about?" Clarke asked, her voice rising with every second. "Indra what aren't you telling me?"

Indra adjusted her stance; the warrior had completely shed her armor and now, this was just a woman begging for help. Clarke practically blacked out with what she heard next.

"Clarke. The commander… is no more."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

" _The commander is no more."_

Clarke could not understand the weight of the words Indra had spoken. There was a sense of confusion within her, mixed with an inexplicable sense of worry. There was this growing pain waiting to burst, and yet she couldn't let it out. She couldn't react. She couldn't because… she didn't know how.

Some days ago she would've wanted for the commander to just die. She didn't even care if she had to drive a dagger into Lexa's heart herself, because at the moment, if she was given the opportunity, she really would've done it.

But now, she'd fallen into a pit where the loss of words and emptiness resided. She looked at the Indra's eyes, hoping to find the right words to say. And when she couldn't, she tried to retrace her steps, if only to remind her of a reason, a reason to understand—a reason to care.

Eight days ago, she left. She left because she couldn't take the guilt, she couldn't take the burden. She wanted a fresh start, and she thought her people needed it too. Days after that, she blamed the commander for leaving, for betraying her. She blamed the commander for leaving her no other choice. But later then, she went back to blaming herself. Only during those moments, she felt worse because…

She only cared about herself. The realization came crashing on her the same way the dropship crashed on Earth. All those days away from home, all she cared about were the consequences that brought her all the guilt. It only took her a few moments to decide and leave camp, without rethinking how everybody felt, her mother, her friends. She knew they understood her, but she took it as a reason, no, an _excuse_ to start over. She could've just stayed and dealt with everything, together with her people, but she didn't… because it was all about her.

And now the worst part of it all was that she never even stopped to think how Lexa felt when she took the deal. She wrapped her head around that event for two days, but the only thing she accomplished was understanding why the deal was taken. That's it. She didn't even bother wondering how the commander felt. Did she feel conflicted when the opportunity was presented, or did she take the deal without hesitation? Did she feel relief upon making the impulse decision, or did the same guilt course through her veins the same way it did Clarke? Did the commander even think about the alliance the grounders and sky people forged? Did Lexa even stop to… think about her? She failed to ask those questions and now, she was left with one of the most painful things she'd ever known—loss. And why? Because she was _selfish._

"Clarke." Indra spoke, snapping Clarke out of her blank state.

"What are you talking about? W-What do you mean by 'no more'? Clarke replied, trembling with every word.

"The commander is gone, Clarke." Clarke's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Y-you're joking right?" She tried to chuckle but her tears threatened to escape. She wanted to shout, but instead, she tried her best to whisper the words harshly into the warrior's ears. "She really isn't dead, is she? Y-you're just using colorful words t-to, to force me into helping you. That's what this is all about right? I mean if she was dead, this village would've heard about it. There's just… there's no way…"

Indra tried her best to match the blonde's whispers. "The people have lost their commander, that is all there is to say, for now. I will discuss the details later when—

"No! Tell me now!" The sky girl's outburst alarmed the village. Indra raised a hand and everyone returned to their tasks in silence.

"This isn't the right place for discussion. There are people. If they learn about the commander's… situation, they could—

Clarke didn't wait for the general to finish her statement. She dragged the warrior into the tent she had stayed the night in and yelled her demand. "What happened to her Indra? Tell me! I-I have to know… I'm…" A lump in her throat prevented her from saying more. She could feel the tears rushing, but she couldn't afford to break. Still, there was an incredible pang in her chest. Was it the overwhelming sense of disbelief? Was it the guilt? Or was it something else? Clarke couldn't understand the emotions swirling inside her. She wanted to know, but she was afraid. She focused her eyes on her feet, making sure she wasn't visibly trembling. Ignoring the disrespectful way Clarke handled her, Indra handed the young woman a piece of neatly folded paper.

"Written here is everything you need to find us. My men and I have a few hours before resuming our journey. But if you cannot decide by then and you wish to follow me, you will need that." The blonde couldn't even meet her eyes. "Listen. I do not want to force you to do our bidding, because the only way this situation can be handled is if you are willing to help. But I am begging you. Please help us."

* * *

Clarke and Indra had been inside the tent for nearly two hours. There was nothing but silence. The grounders were starting to worry. Imara had placed her trust in Clarke and in their superior, so she tried her best to calm the people. Keren was mature enough to lend a hand in reassuring their people that the two women were only having a conversation.

Indra had been patiently waiting for the sky girl to speak. Clarke on the other hand, couldn't handle the silence anymore, so she decided to return the piece of paper.

"I can't take this. I can't because… I don't know if I can help. And even if I can, I'm not even sure that I want to." Her eyes were still rested on the ground, her voice filled with denial.

"Clarke you don't understand. If you don't want to take this then at least come with me, listen to what I have to say. Let me—

"She isn't really dead is she?"

"No."

A wave of relief hit her. "G-Good. That's all I need to know. She can handle herself. Now, I have no reason to help you…"

"Yes you do! Moments ago you were dying to find out what happened to Heda. Your denial won't help the situation."

"I'm not in denial. It was just… out of curiosity. I couldn't help myself. She's alive, that's all that matters." Her eyes darted everywhere else but Indra's face. "I don't have any reason to lend her any aid."

"You and the commander might have had differences, but we both know that somehow, both of you found equal ground."

"We had a common enemy. We had a common goal. That's all there is to it."

"I am not blind to the commander's affairs, Clarke. I may not completely know her, or you, but I've seen the way you look at each other. I know you _care_." Clarke's jaws clenched at the word.

"You don't… you don't know that."

"Clarke, the commander might've had secrets, secrets she kept from me, from Gustus, from Anya, in order to protect us, and her people, even if it cost her own happiness. But we knew she was in pain because after all, she never did anything for herself, not even when… Costia was around. She had nothing." Clarke's eyes were misting. The thought of Lexa having nothing was unspeakable. She couldn't have 'nothing', Clarke thought. She couldn't because… Lexa had her.

The warrior placed a hand on Clarke's shoulder, a gesture she didn't even think she was capable of, especially to an outsider. But the sincerity of the act spoke words not any language could possibly convey.

"But if there's one thing I know about the commander it's that… despite everything, she will always have you." Those were the words Clarke needed to hear. For a long time, she needed to know that defeating the mountain offered something more than just a chance at surviving. She wanted someone else to say it for her, because she couldn't admit it, not yet. Thankfully, there it was.

"Clarke, tell me that I'm not mistaken. Tell me that despite what happened, she still has you."

Clarke finally looked up to the warrior, her eyes streaming tears. The warrior gladly took that as a yes.

* * *

"Pack your things. We need to head out before darkness sets in." Clarke nodded, not because she was listening to what Indra was saying, but because she finally understood.

"Let me say my goodbyes first. These people have taken me in like family, even if it was just for a few days." Indra nodded as she made her way to her horse.

"Thank you for taking me in, Imara. I would stay longer but, I realized staying here would not get my things in order."

"I understand. Seeing you with Indra shows you have important matters in your hands and I would not want to get in the way." Clarke smiled at the woman, and was surprised to receive a hug. It reminded her so much of her mother. "Be safe, little one."

Clarke looked at the young girl beside her, the warrior who reminded her so much of the commander. "You know, if I hadn't found you, I wouldn't be here to enjoy the safety of your home. I could've stayed holed up in that tree." The young girl chuckled and gave Clarke a tight squeeze.

"If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be alive to become the next commander," the little girl said confidently. Imara glared at her daughter, while it brought a soft giggle in the child's mouth.

"You want to be commander?" Clarke asked curiously.

"Yes. She is a very good leader. She loves us, and someday, I too will serve everyone, not just the people in this village." The child looked at Clarke bravely and asked, "Do you think I can be like her?"

Clarke knew the burden of being a leader. She knew it from different points of view. The only difference was, they weren't given a choice; they were chosen. And she could see in the little warrior's eyes that it was her decision to lead, and it made Clarke proud.

"Yes. You're beautiful, you're smart. You're responsible; you put the needs of your people before yourself. You're strong and… and you're brave…" The words left her tongue like it was the most natural thing to say.

"Just like Heda?" the little girl asked eagerly. Clarke smiled and gave the girl a reassuring nod, "Yes. Just like Heda."

Keren gave Clarke one last hug and whispered her farewell. It brought an enormous wave of surprise and sadness in the blonde's heart that it took her a few minutes before releasing the hug.

* * *

Clarke had been generously given a horse by the villagers as a parting gift. The general gave her a firm grip on the shoulder and sincerely expressed her gratitude. Indra's men led the way, effectively running a path through the woods without a hitch while Clarke followed suit.

The horses galloped to the rhythm of her heart, fast and steady. Playing in her mind were the last words Keren spoke to her, a prayer, a promise. The last words her friends offered her… the last words she remembered Lexa speak.

" _May we meet again."_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Clarke's journey with Indra and her men was quite a challenge. The way the grounders commanded their horses showed magnificent display of strength and discipline. Their movements were so fluid, it was as if the grounder and the animal were the same creature, swift and focused on the task at hand.

Meanwhile, Clarke looked like she might fall off anytime soon, given her huge lack of practice and her poor sense of balance. The silence that enveloped their ride did not help, but it did give her an opportunity to think about certain things.

There was always something mysterious about Lexa, and it wasn't just about her being a young leader. What were her interests? Did she always like fighting, handling swords, wearing her battle gear, or did she enjoy simple pleasures like sitting outside while gazing at trees and mountains? Was she always this serious, or was she once a carefree child who caused mischief? Was she always ridiculously responsible, or was she a pain in the ass to her to her guardians, to Anya, to Gustus, to her family? Did her parents die before or after she became the commander? Did she have siblings?

There were so many things Clarke wanted to ask. Who was the commander before she was called to lead her people? Clarke wanted to know, she wanted to understand the person behind the thick mask of blood and paint. If only things were different, she would've gotten to know the commander better.

They've been on their horses for only less than an hour but the ground they've covered almost equaled half a day's journey on foot. Clarke had no idea where they were going, or if Lexa was gonna be there in the first place. All she knew was that Indra was gonna discuss the situation to her. Their trip had taken them across forests and remains of what used to be a thriving civilization. There were towers and buildings, torn and overrun with vines and shrubs. There were signs, and sculptures and other man-made wonders, yet despite her fascination for art, nature and architecture, Clarke's mind occupied only one thought—Lexa.

* * *

The sun was already setting when Indra and her men halted. In front of them was a settlement much larger than Tondc or Camp Jaha. It was fortified in a high wall made of wood and metal sheets. Before they entered, the warrior handed the sky girl a hood. She promised to explain why it was necessary once they were inside the walls.

The blonde's heart pounded upon entering the place. It seemed much larger on the inside. There were no tents, only houses made of wood, and metal and brick. The brick house looked really interesting, the rusty red and mud brown color gave it quite an appeal. It was a shame that it got boarded up. Perhaps it was a reminder for people with memories that are too painful to remember, yet hard to forget.

Indra pointed toward one of the houses. The blonde walked over to the place with the general, and on their way she noticed various stalls scattered around the area. She could see the grounders trading their things for accessories and weapons. There also seemed to be meat shops, clothes shops and even hair dressers.

She could see children playing even if it was almost dark. She could hear low and soothing music. There were people dancing to the tune in dances she had not been acquainted with. She could see artists painting on canvasses. She could see people of her age mingling—boys and girls, boys and boys, girls and girls. She could see parents walking with their kids. It was peaceful and relatively quiet, but the place was booming with life. It was like being in a different world.

She couldn't hide her curiosity and whispered. "Indra, is this… Polis?"

The warrior shook her head. "This place is nothing compared to The Capital."

* * *

The house they entered was not large. It seemed like a place made only for two. There was a small bedroom, and a small kitchen. There was a shelf containing a fair amount of reading materials. There were two chairs and a table, and a meal of meat and fruits. The warrior offered the young woman a seat and both of them shared a meal.

"Are you gonna tell me where Lexa is, or should I worry more about why I had to wear a hood?" the blonde ask while eating her piece of meat.

"I assume by now you already understand why the deal was taken."

"I do," It was to rescue the imprisoned grounders and to stop the mountain men from making more reapers, she thought. But Clarke swallowed hard, because even though she understood, a little part of her still couldn't accept it.

"Correct."

"Okay, what does it have to do with Lexa, or me wearing a hood?"

"Stories of the truce between the grounders and Maunon spread as we left the mountain. Our people cheered because we were finally freed from the clasps of the mountain people, or so the agreement states. The deal made that clear but..."

"But it wasn't enough, was it?"

The general cleared her throat. "The grounders believed that the commander's decision was for everyone. I believed she made the right choice. Only half of the leaders thought it was a smart move, but it didn't pose any actual threat to The Coalition, until some of us, one clan in particular, opposed her decision."

"The Ice Nation?" The warrior raised a brow. "Lexa had… mentioned it once when… she told me about Costia."

"I see." Indra could see the shift in Clarke's expression. There was an obvious picture of pain painted across the blonde's face. "The Ice Nation was never a clear ally. The Ice Queen was not fond of the other clans, Trigedakru especially. She did not like the idea of a young girl leading an entire army of grounders. She wanted the power all to herself. But because the commander singlehandedly convinced the eleven other clans to form an alliance by presenting a valid cause, the Ice Queen was left with two choices—to join, or be killed. She obviously chose the safest. And despite her personal hatred for the Ice Queen, Heda did not let her emotions cloud her judgment. She chose what was necessary for the people. And so, through the efforts our young leader, the Coalition was forged."

Clarke listened intently, trying her very best to prevent her mind from wandering off to someplace else. "What was the Coalition?"

"It is the alliance between the clans that officially recognizes Heda Leksa as the commander of all 12 clans. It was made so we could help each other survive. For almost a century, the clans have faced and fought against nature's threats. Aside from that, we used to compete with each other in order to claim territories and food for our people.

When the Maunon began terrorizing us with their flesh-melting fog, and began abducting our people and performed unspeakable treatments on them, we were all crippled. The forests became more dangerous, and our homes did not guarantee safety. We tried to retaliate, but we couldn't stop them, not with our weapons or our primitive technology. Individually, we didn't stand a chance. But together, we were able to share our knowledge in different fields, defend our homes, and maintain our lives. The Ice Queen was forced to suppress her selfish desires, and it benefited everyone. And it was all because of Heda.

According to the laws set in the making of the Coalition, war cannot occur among the clans. Violators will automatically be eliminated. There is only one enemy, the Maunon. And that has kept the Ice Queen from causing any trouble… until." Indra's eyes fell on a guilt-ridden blonde, and the warrior could only offer her sympathy, a cup of water, and a bottle of alcohol.

She stared at her cup of water, looking at the face of epic failure. The clans stood together in order the fight a common enemy, the mountain men. When the commander took the deal for her people, she destroyed her alliance with the sky people. And when the sky people brought the mountain down, they gave the Ice Queen a chance to...

"Do you still want to know why I had you wearing that?" The warrior said, her eyes directed at the hood. She didn't want to know, but she knew she had to, so she allowed the warrior to explain.

"When we arrived in Tondc to make arrangements for the commander's travel to the Capital, the hundreds of warriors that accompanied us drank and celebrated. The prisoners were taken care of by the others, and were given food. Heda did not join us; instead she stayed in her tent and did not come out. While she was inside resting, we were startled to see something thrown in the middle of our victory fire. Some of the grounders were alarmed, and so the commander stepped out, only to find the head of young, golden-haired girl burning to the ground."

The blonde wanted to speak, but the next thing Indra said silenced her.

"And it did not stop there. The following day there was another, and another... and another."

* * *

Clarke excused herself and sat on the wooden boxes next to the well in the middle of the settlement and chugged her bottle of alcohol. This was once again one of the biggest consequences of her decision. She didn't intend for it to happen, but in one single move, she effectively endangered every grounder's safety, and if that wasn't enough, she practically guaranteed the end of every blonde girl's life.

She scanned the area, and saw girls with the same color as hers, and it filled her with so much pain. She wanted to approach them, warn them. But how exactly would she explain to them that their lives are in danger without choking on every detail she only just found out a few minutes ago? She let out a long sigh as she finished her bottle.

 _Lexa_. She thought. She had been suffering a thousand times worse than Clarke had initially thought, and she was the culprit. Did the Ice Queen do all that to taunt the commander? Did she know something about them, and if she did, how? And was it even the Ice Queen who sent all those... heads? Did Lexa have more enemies, and did Clarke add more to that list? She wanted to cry, but she wanted to apologize first. But where is Lexa anyway? She asked herself, and when she remembered that she was in that place because the commander needed her help, she immediately stood up and ran back to the house, leaving her bottle of shame.

* * *

The blonde returned, only to find herself being led to the brick house she laid eyes on the first time she entered the settlement. Indra's movements spoke of urgency, and it ignited a fire in the blonde's heart.

The brick house was boarded up when Clarke first saw it, but she didn't realize it had a back door of some sort. Indra knocked on the door with what seemed like a pattern of short rapid taps and the door opened, releasing a horrible stench of death and disease.

Indra entered first and Clarke followed after adjusting to the air. The general covered her nose with a piece of cloth, while the blonde brought her sleeves up to her nose to avoid the stink.

The warrior gave her a nod, and as she spoke, Clarke became even more determined to fulfill a promise she never thought she made.

"It is time."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Clarke felt a strange vibe when they came in. As soon as the door shut, it was as if they had completely stepped into a different place.

The house was large, and surprisingly long, as if only one-third of it was visible from the outside, and the rest of it extended beyond the high wall and into the thick of the forest. It was two floors high, high enough to almost top the wall.

The house seemed eerie, with only candles and torches lighting up the area. There were other grounders, but they spoke in hushed tones and kept their heads low. They were dressed heavily, clad in multiple layers of cloth and armor, despite the area being quite secure. The masks they wore were logical, but still. The place was relatively quiet, save for the violent shaking and rattling of what sounded like metal chains.

Indra led Clarke into a long hallway. They were headed towards a staircase at the end hall. There were rooms along the corridors, and the doors were shut. But they weren't empty. And as they were nearing the staircase, Clarke broke the silence.

"Where are we? Why are we here?" she asked, even if she already knew what to expect.

When the warrior didn't answer, the blonde approached one of the doors and knocked. Sure enough, someone opened it. There was a woman, a mother, and on the bed was a child coughing blood. The blonde stepped back in surprise, while the woman slowly closed the door.

Clarke tried to check the next room. There was a little girl, no older than five years, sitting on a high chair staring blankly at the wall. A man was sitting beside her, trying to get her to talk. But the girl did not move, and she looked pale and expressionless, almost as if she was dead.

The other rooms were occupied with people infected with skin diseases, respiratory illnesses. There was even this woman whose left leg was missing. She was pale and it looked like she didn't have much time left.

Indra stopped in her tracks while Clarke peered into the other rooms. There were different people, men and women, young and old—all of them ridden with disease. There was also a room that contained various bottles and containers. There were bandages, rags and other pieces of cloth. There were also needles and stitching materials. There were also different herbs and dried flowers. There were two grounders working on what seemed like medical research, as there were various crushed leaves and scribbles on pieces of paper everywhere.

The entire place was like the medical ward on the ark, only in here, parents were allowed to be with their children and no one was in a rush to get rid of the very sick ones to save resources for the healthy. It was nice, but it was painful to watch.

Clarke shut her eyes for a moment, not wanting to witness the misery of the people around her. She could hear labored breaths, and painful moans. She could hear them choking on their own blood. She could hear their beds shaking with every convulsion. She could hear the muffled cries of children, of parents. She could hear them despite the doors being shut. She didn't have to look, she didn't have to listen, but she wanted to… because she wanted to delay the inevitable.

* * *

Indra had almost lost her patience when Clarke decided to join her. The warrior gestured for the blonde to take the lead as they went up the staircase.

The entire second floor seemed different from the previous. Two-thirds of it consisted of shelves filled with books and rolled papers. They looked very valuable, and yet they also seemed untouched, as dust settled within pages and cobwebs inhabited every corner.

There were also shelves that didn't contain reading materials. They contained towels and rags, only these ones were fresher, and fewer. There were also clothes dumped in a basket, most of which were smudged with dirt and blood.

One-third of the floor, the far end specifically, was occupied by a single room. The door was made of steel, and the wall that divided it from the shelf-inhabited portion of the floor was seemingly thicker compared to the walls that separated the rooms below.

Clarke approached the room cautiously, visibly terrified, but determined to find out what was behind the door. Indra gave her an encouraging nudge, and as the young woman reached out for the door, she didn't know which was louder, the beating of her heart, or the rattling of metal chains echoing throughout the house.

With one push, the door opened, and the blonde's eyes widened at the sight before her. It was not was she expected. Indra excused herself and carefully closed the door as she gave Clarke all the privacy she needed.

* * *

As she was sitting, Clarke held the hand of the girl asleep on the bed beside her. She was warm. Clarke tried to feel her pulse, but it was weak. Still, she was glad to know this girl was trying to endure the pain that was shown in the form of a huge stab wound. She isn't too warm, which is good, because if the wound was infected, she would've had a high fever.

Clarke turned to her left, and touched the other girl's cheek. This one was slightly cold, but alive. She was shivering. Clarke brought the covers high up to the girl's shoulders to prevent her from catching a cold. There were visible bruises around her neck, but luckily, she was breathing fine.

Clarke stood and sat beside the girl from across the two other beds. The girl just woke up. She couldn't speak, but her face displayed genuine fear. Tears streamed down the terrified girl's cheek, and Clarke gently wiped her tears, whispering an apology. The girl didn't respond to the hooded stranger, but she did turn to her side, and on another bed was a body covered with a blanket.

There were two other beds, empty, but from the looks of it, someone used to sleep there. _Used to._ Clarke bit her lip, hoping that she wouldn't have to see more.

She stood and turned away from the girls as she silently wept. These girls wouldn't have suffered if she had another option back then. But that wasn't the case. It was unfortunate that they all looked like her. If only there was something she could do to end this madness… or at least something to make it up to the victims for causing it.

* * *

Clarke walked towards the kitchen sitting in the corner of the room. She wanted to make something for them.

There was a cabinet that contained fruits and rice. There were vegetables on the table, and at least six plates and cups, and a dozen pairs of spoons and forks. There were pots and clay bowls next to the sink, and a large jar that was half-filled with water. There were knives in one of the drawers; one in particular looked really sharp and… familiar.

That's right, it wasn't just a knife. It was a dagger, Lexa's dagger.

Clarke carefully inspected the handle, and it was the same as she remembered, save for the blood tinged in the carvings.

Back when they first met, Lexa was holding this small but slightly heavy dagger. She looked calm yet very dangerous, and it made her look more intimidating than she already was. She always kept this close to her, whether she was hunting, or training. Lexa would bring this while meeting with her generals, or while grooming herself, or while... they were alone together.

Clarke subconsciously pressed the dagger to her lips, her mind reliving the memory of their first intimate exchange. The cold blade melted on her lips like shaved ice she once tasted on the ark… sweet, rare, and tempting… a real treat… much like the kiss. Her thoughts drifted down to memory lane as Lexa cupped her cheek and pressed her lips on to hers, sending waves of pleasure into her system. She could feel the commander's warmth as their bodies defied each other's personal space. She could feel herself drowning in Lexa's passion. It made her think about what could've happened if she hadn't pulled away.

Lost in the moment, Clarke's hands went numb and all she could about think was Lexa and her, delving each other's secrets, absolving each other's faults. As she licked her lips at the thought, she unintentionally dropped the dagger, the handle landing hard on her foot, causing a searing pain throughout her body.

At an instant, Clarke snapped back into reality, although she had completely forgotten why she was in kitchen in the first place.

* * *

A knock broke the silence that occupied Clarke's mind as she was observing the girls in their state.

"Why did you bring me here?" Clarke spoke as Indra entered.

"Those girls… they need your help."

"I thought the commander needed my help," she replied, her eyes focused on the dagger.

"She does, too."

"Well then where is she? You can't expect me to just sit here and do nothing…"

"You can help take care of the girls."

"What, so you brought me here to babysit them?"

"You are here for a reason. For now, you might want to make it up to them."

Indra was right, instead of complaining, she could just do something to ease their pain. After all, these were the casualties of the mistakes she—mostly she—and many others committed. But as much as she wanted to compensate for her misdeeds, but her heart was already set on one thing.

"Clarke, listen—

"Look. I get that this is incidentally my fault, but I can't just waste my time here when all I want to see is… I mean, when your commander is in trouble."

"I understand. That's why I want you to listen."

"To what?"

"Just listen."

She could hear it again, the rattling noise, the metal chains. It came from inside the room but there didn't seem to be anything else causing the ruckus. There weren't any chains in the kitchen, and the beds were fashioned out of wood. But there was tall shelf with ledges on its side that made it look like a ladder, and next to it was a short piece rope that was tied to the ceiling.

Clarke inspected the area where the rope was attached to. The ceiling was the same color as the entire building, and it was hard to tell if there was anything hidden there. Sure enough, after minutes of scrutinizing, she discovered a latch, strategically camouflaged as a wooden panel painted with red and covered with the same bricks adorning the building. It was small enough for someone of her size to squeeze through.

She climbed on the ledges of the shelf carefully, making sure she was high enough to reach the rope. Indra offered to hold the shelf for extra support, but she assured the warrior she was safe. The warrior was reluctant, but Clarke gave her a reassuring look, giving her a cue to exit, and leave the situation for Clarke to handle alone.

Just as Indra was about to leave, Clarke fell off a loose ledge and landed on her side, her head hitting the floor hard. The warrior hurriedly rushed to aid her, but the girl was already unconscious.

* * *

Clarke awoke to a painful throbbing on the left side of her head. There was a piece of cloth pressed to the swollen area, with leaves tucked into it. The whole thing was bandaged to her head, providing her with a small feeling of respite.

The smell of roasted meat and freshly brewed tea warmed her senses, and even if her vision was slightly blurry, she can see the girls eating contentedly. She wasn't sure if it was still breakfast, or lunch, but she sure was hungry as hell.

She tried to sit up but it made her dizzy. She took a few seconds to regain her composure, and tried to push herself up slowly with her elbows. It didn't make a difference. She rubbed her temples but it didn't seem to work either, in fact it made her puke. She was on the verge of giving up when she was handed a strip of meat and a cup of tea.

"Thank you, Indra," she didn't even stop to look at the warrior and stuffed her face with food. "Look, I'm sorry for causing you trouble." She took another bite of the meat as she filled her empty stomach. "Sorry for making you carry me".

She didn't receive a reply. But she kept on talking. "You know I should've listened to you. I had it coming."

"You did," the warrior said, in a flat tone.

"Well I know that was stupid but… What did you expect me to do?"

"You should've listened… you could've gotten a bigger injury than that." The warrior's voice slightly wavered, giving it a familiar tone.

"I know, I know."

"You shouldn't have done that."

"I had to… I want to know what happened to her."

"If you want to know what happened to her, there are other ways." The warrior said in a more familiar voice, as she gently caressed the blonde's forehead. It was an act filled with so much concern that it alarmed the blonde.

"Whoa, is there a problem?" she said as she swatted the warrior's hand, weirded out by the sudden display of affection. "Are you okay? Is Lexa—

The trail of Clarke's voice ended as she stopped in shock. Her tears streamed down her face as her hand found its way into a familiar cheek. It wasn't Indra after all.

She wanted to speak, and say anything, anything but silence. But how could she when the warrior sitting beside her was already crashing her lips onto hers without warning.

And just like that, the intimate memory returned. Only this time, there was no tension. There was only longing… yearning… and an incredible desire to not pull away from this tender and passionate exchange of… silent words. Of course, someone had to pull away eventually, and this time, it was the other way around.

"I can't believe it. Clarke… You're alive."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Though the dizziness had not left her head yet, Clarke pushed herself up and gestured for the warrior to sit on the bed beside her. She took Lexa's hand and squeezed it; the warmth emanating from the warrior's body met hers.

Clarke smiled at her, and rested her head on the warrior's shoulder as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Lexa was stiff, but she could feel the warrior trembling, nervous, like it was a first date of some sort. "You know, you can't just show up and hand me food out of nowhere. I thought you were Indra. Imagine my horror when I thought she was caressing my forehead," she said, shivering. "But I'm glad I realized it was you, or that moment would've been ruined." She chuckled, and expected Lexa to give her that sweet _'it's okay'_ smile, but it wasn't there. She could still see that surprised look on the warrior's face.

Clarke was almost tempted to kiss her, but realized she shouldn't act too familiar with the commander in the presence of her people, although Lexa had already done the move. In fact, she shouldn't be acting this way at all, as if nothing tragic had transpired between them. Still, there was something incredibly comforting about Lexa. She was both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. It was riveting.

Lexa wanted to speak alone with Clarke, but she couldn't very well let the girls out just so they could talk. They've been through too much, and the last thing she wanted was for them to feel any form of discomfort. Fortunately, the girls kindly excused themselves and gave both of them a little bit of privacy.

* * *

Now that they were alone, Lexa fell speechless. Her lips felt dry, and Clarke, who was almost in the same state she was, snapped out of her trance and tried to playfully, hit the warrior's side, hoping to get a laugh out of her.

"Of course I'm alive, dammit. Did you really expect me to die? I don't think I'm that easy to kill." she said jokingly, if only to control the overwhelming tension she too was feeling at the moment.

Lexa didn't respond, though she pulled her hands away from the sky girl's touch, and her emerald eyes cased intriguing emotions Clarke was desperate to discover. "Hey… what's wrong?" The blonde asked as she touched the other girl's cheek, while her own cobalt eyes pleaded the warrior to provide an answer.

"Truth be told…" There was no point in hiding it, Lexa thought. "When we left the mountain, when we left your people to die… When _I_ left _you_ to face the mountain alone, I was _certain_ you'd die."

"Oh. Well. I'm here, aren't I?" Clarke said, her voice fickle, obviously pained at Lexa's honesty.

"But I wanted to turn around, to make sure you'd survive. I wanted you to call for me, I wanted you to force me to stay, to make me fight, and maybe, just maybe, I'd find a reason to back away from the deal. Remember that deal, the one that cost so many lives because I thought it would finally put my people in peace? The one that forced _you_ to pull a lever that _I_ should've pulled—the one that caused _you_ to commit a murder that _I_ should've paid for? I wanted to… find a reason for me to shoulder all the responsibility. I wanted that reason to be you."

"Lexa, I don't blame you for leaving… not anymore anyway. It was your people or me. And we both know you chose what you think was right, despite it being unfair. But I'm here and, as much as it's weird that we're not trying to murder each other right now… I'm perfectly fine. Stable, you know?"

Clarke felt so happy, and yet so miserable knowing that Lexa was more than willing to take the blame, if it meant she wouldn't have to carry the burden herself. She felt like an ass for spending all her time feeling sorry for herself, when she could've spent it caring about Lexa or her people too. She tried to dodge the warrior's eyes, because there was so much pain and suffering in them. But Lexa made no attempts to avert her gaze, her emerald eyes latched on Clarke's lips, as her fingers touched the sky girl's chin.

"I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to pull you away from that mess and just… run away with you. Unlike you, I had a choice. I could've stepped up, and allowed my people to leave without me. I could've gone back to you and fought by your side. B-But I didn't, because my people needed me. I didn't, because that would be wrong, and I knew that it would be selfish." Clarke could feel herself tearing up. Hearing the warrior say she was selfish, even if she was the least self-serving person in the entire world, made Clarke feel like a sore loser.

"I don't think we were left with any fair options to choose from. We did what we had to do."

"I would risk my happiness for my people, but I would risk anything for you. It would've been so simple to grab you and take you along with me, and I would've promised you anything, _anything_ to make you stay." There were no lies in Lexa's words. And Clarke hated it. She hated how brave Lexa was for admitting her intentions, and she hated how much of a coward it has made her.

"But I knew it was wrong for me to think that. It was selfish. I can't afford to be with you, if it meant you would lose everything and everyone you loved, and I knew that if that happened, you would never love me back. And it infuriates me Clarke, it truly does, that the only solution I thought of to avoid ruining my chance with you… was letting you die." There were tears streaming from the warrior's face, and it was the most painful thing Clarke had ever seen.

"And the worst part of it all was that I didn't even regret leaving. I didn't mind the guilt because I did it for my people. What I failed to realize was, you were my people too. And I ignored every shred of misery until I realized that…I'd already lost you." Clarke's mouth fell agape as the words left Lexa's mouth. She definitely had no idea how difficult it was for the commander to make that decision. It was always her people first. And although she was aware of commander's love for her, she didn't think it was strong enough to make her suffer. But Lexa was wrong, she still has her. She always will.

"Lexa…" There were so many things Clarke wanted to say, but right now she was at a loss. The only thing she could manage was taking the crying warrior into her arms, and it was the first time Clarke had seen the commander at her most vulnerable. Lexa practically confessed her love in excruciating detail while Clarke couldn't even express her own sentiments. She knew her feelings for the commander were there, but she couldn't quite put it into words, yet.

"You know I always thought that it was easy for the commander to make that choice, because the people have always been your priority. I guess I'm wrong."

"It would've been easy for the commander, Clarke. But it wasn't her who made the choice. It was Lexa."

* * *

A few minutes of silence enveloped the room as Lexa and Clarke adjusted to the atmosphere. They had quite a conversation, and giving each other a moment to breathe was good for them. Clarke resorted to cleaning the table and washing the dishes, while Lexa fixed the beds. It might've been a very awkward silence for some people, but they both found comfort in it.

"You know I owe this moment to Indra," Clarke said as she wiped the table clean.

"How so?"

"I was staying at this village and as fate might have it, the ones who brought relief goods and supplies were Indra and her men. She told me that you were… um…that you had problems and said I could help you."

"Well I've been dealing with… the killings. But it's fine, I have it under control. I take it Indra has mentioned that to you?"

"She has. How can I help?"

"It's okay Clarke, I'll manage."

"Lexa, if you would just let me make it up to you, things would be easier. Anything, ask me for anything and I will do whatever I can."

"I'm the one who actually has to do the making up Clarke."

"Yes well. Let's just say this is for the times I misjudged you. So come on."

"Anything?"

"Yes anything."

"Well, you can start by washing the plates." The stoic expression plastered on Lexa's face drove the unwilling blonde nuts as she went on washing the dishes they had used. She couldn't believe that the commander was trying to play games with her.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously."

* * *

The young women kept at their tasks. It was obvious that they had a lot of things to say to each other, but they couldn't find the perfect timing.

"You know I've always wanted this," Lexa said.

"What, making beds? Washing dishes? Cleaning after somebody's mess?" Clarke teased.

"Actually, yes."

"You're not serious are you?" Clarke said, her eyes filled with amusement. Lexa just shrugged. "You really are."

"It's not every day that the commander gets to enjoy simple pleasures like this one."

"Hmmm. So you prefer living like this?"

Lexa looked around the room. She looked at the sheets she was folding; she looked at the tables, and chairs and kitchen. And then she looked at Clarke, and smiled. "Yes, I prefer it over anything else."

She was pleased to know that the commander had wishes like that one. It gave her hope that someday, Lexa would do something to make that dream come true, not just for herself, but for everyone. She hoped that someday, she wouldn't have to fight to enjoy pleasures such as this. It seemed so noble and charming. And it even sounded sweeter knowing that she was part of that wish.

And yet somehow, her heart ached at the thought that it might not be an easy task for the young leader, and it may take a while for her to achieve it. She had things slowing her down, and Clarke thought she may be part of what's causing it.

"Lexa…."

"Yes, Clarke?"

"I… I'm sorry…"

"What for?"

"I… I forced this on you…"

"What, you mean fixing the beds? This was my choice Clarke…"

Clarke couldn't tell if Lexa was joking or not, so she rolled her eyes instead. "Dork. I meant this, this entire situation… those girls. Indra told me about that night you went to Tondc after Mount Weather you were supposed to celebrate. But the killings started and… the victims all looked like me. I caused that Lexa, I endangered your people."

"Clarke, it's not your fault."

"Yes it is! It isn't a coincidence that they were all blonde and almost the same size as me. Someone was obviously trying to…to hurt you and I don't know how they know but they certainly think that I'd be the perfect instrument for your torture. But if they knew that, they must've been someone close enough to observe."

Lexa's eyes fell to the ground. Clarke had a point. She clenched her jaws, and kept her from spilling what she already knew.

"This is why Indra was looking for me."

"She was looking for you? But you said she found you in a village by chance."

"Yes, but she had been looking for me for eight days. But she wasn't looking for me when she found me, it was mere luck. You didn't have anything to do with that?"

"Clarke I'd assumed the worst when we left the mountain. And when Tondc happened, I wasn't able to go to Polis, nor perform my duties as commander. I personally took matters into my own hands and looked for the culprit. For the past week I have dealt with more victims than suspects. I… I thought you were gone so I had to prioritize the living."

"So this is why Indra thought I was the only one who could help you. This is why she was looking for me… she wanted me to do right by you, by your people."

"Clarke if the culprit finds out that you are alive, they will hunt you. I cannot have that. I will end this by myself."

"No Lexa. I can't sit idly by while you risk your life again for these girls, and for me. This has to stop. You have to stop doing things alone and allow me to help. This is what Indra wants. This is what I want."

"Clarke I only just found out that you're alive… let's keep it that way."

"Lexa didn't I tell you? I can't be killed, and as long as I'm by your side, I know it'll stay that way. Please? Allow me to help you."

Lexa didn't want to get Clarke involved in the mess, but she definitely didn't want to be separated from her again. And if this was her second chance to prevent Mount Weather from happening all over again, she'd gladly take it.

"Alright. But know that this situation has led me to do… unspeakable things. You don't get to criticize me for what I've done."

"I'm sure it's nothing worse than what you did at Mount Weather."

Lexa's face turned sour at the memory. "Clarke I—

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Okay maybe I'm a little serious. Now where do we begin?"

* * *

Lexa opened the door and allowed the girls to enter. They bowed their heads first to the commander, and to Clarke. Their faces blushed as they noticed Clarke's hand almost touching the commander's. Clarke felt a little embarrassed and turned red herself.

"You girls get some rest. If you get hungry, there's food in the kitchen. If you need anything else, there will be someone waiting for you outside."

"Mochof, Heda," the girls said in unison.

"We will be back. And whatever you do, do not let anyone else in, except for Indra. Understand?"

"Sha, Heda."

Clarke couldn't keep her smile from appearing. It felt as though they were the parents and they were going out for a meal. It was silly, but she always dreamed of things like this, things she'd only read in books and seen in old movies. She allowed herself to relish the moment, because like Lexa, she too wanted simple things in life. And after all of this, Clarke promised herself to she would finally get her wish, and if not for herself, at least for Lexa.

* * *

The two left after the young leader gave instructions to the grounders assigned to guard the room. Lexa was no longer in her battle gear, and Clarke didn't notice that until then. They both wore cloaks and people didn't seem to mind them. They headed for the stalls and mounted their horses and exited the settlement.

"So where are we headed? When I said 'where should we begin' I didn't mean we should leave right away. Not that I'm complaining."

"Where we're headed is not important. But there are things that I kept hidden in that place that will help us determine the perpetrators. I may be onto something."

"You mean you may know who the culprit is?"

"Yes, I have a strong guess."

"Who are they?"

"I'll explain when we get there. Though there is one thing I can tell you."

"What is it?"

"When I tell you who the culprit is... you are going to hate me."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"What?" Clarke asked.

It had only been ten minutes since Clarke and Lexa left the settlement, and for that amount of time Clarke had already badgered the commander about her last statement.

"Lexa, what do you mean I'll hate you?" The warrior kept at her pace, focusing on the road and ignoring the blonde, who clearly, still had a hard time controlling the horse.

"Hey talk to me." Clarke's attempts at making Lexa talk were feeble. She tried outrunning the commander's horse but every time she got close, the commander would just gallop a good distance ahead of her. She tried flashing her puppy eyes and almost succeeded, but the commander knew better than to trust those gorgeously deceitful eyes.

"I can't believe that didn't work."

"What didn't work?"

"This." Once again, Clarke attempted to entice her with her look. And again, she failed.

"Do your eyes have something in them, Clarke? You keep blinking at me, it's very disturbing."

"Oh come on you know what I'm trying to do here."

Lexa knew Clarke's attempts had been futile, and she intended to keep it that way. Her smirk showed it. "I believe I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Whatever, just tell me. Lexa, tell me. Tell me, Lexa. Tell me!"

"I would but, I gave you my word that I'd only tell you once we get to my hideout."

"Your hideout, huh. So where is this place?"

"Trying to change the topic, is this your strategy, Clarke? And after pestering me with this new topic, are you going to casually bring up the old one?"

The blonde groaned and kept silent for a while, a good while. Lexa remained focused on the road. Clarke on the other hand tried her best to get Lexa to talk. And when she did sigh audibly, the warrior stopped in her tracks.

"Do you really want to give yourself a reason to hate me?"

"No, I just… I want to know why I would hate you, because really, I don't think that can happen anymore."

"Why, because nothing will make you hate me more than what I did to you at Mount Weather?"

"No Lexa, that's not why I…"

"Then why? Why must you insist on asking me? What makes you think it would be easy for you, or for me, to hear something that could possibly break this newfound peace between us?"

"Well for one, I've forgiven you."

Lexa can't help but chuckle at Clarke's statement, "You can't be serious."

"It's true I've forgiven you… I understand why you took the deal so…"

"It can't be that easy, I refuse to believe that in a short span of time you've come to accept my decision and forgave me for it."

"It wasn't easy; it took me more than a week. And that week felt like forever."

"And what, you spent all that time thinking about my decision? I don't think so."

"Of course not, Lexa. I spent all that time blaming myself for what happened, but I didn't realize then that it wasn't just because I was being selfish. I was ashamed. You might've left us to die, but we were alive, and you might not have known it, but we had a chance. I on the other hand, left the mountain men to die, for good. My point is, it took me a while to forgive you because all I needed was to forgive myself. And if I forgave myself, there's no reason why I can't forgive you."

"But that's just it. You forgave yourself; you didn't have to forgive me."

"Why is it so hard for you to believe that I've forgiven you?"

"Because I haven't forgiven myself. It eats me up every single day and if only I'd chosen differently…forgiving myself wouldn't be too hard. "

"Lexa I…" Lexa clenched her jaws and shut her eyes, preventing her tears from falling. The blonde got off her horse and made her way to Lexa and took the hand that held the reins. "Lexa, I believe that forgiveness isn't just something people can simply ask or give…"

"Then what is it?"

"It's something that people deserve."

"After all the lifetimes my Spirit has lived, after every murder my Spirit has committed, I don't think I deserve to be forgiven."

"Uh, no. You don't get to say that to yourself. Of course you deserve it, everyone does. It just takes a lot of work and effort you know? And, even if I hardly know what you've been doing for the past week, or what your Spirit has done these past decades, I'm pretty sure you've been doing a lot of making up. Those girls back at the settlement, they're proof that you've been trying hard to earn anyone's forgiveness. I trust that you're doing your best, so believe me, okay?"

* * *

Lexa relaxed and felt relieved by what Clarke had said. It was true, she found it hard to earn forgiveness from others, herself included, but she was really trying.

They stayed at the area briefly and wrapped their heads around their conversation. It was great that they're dealing with things a little bit more differently. Someone complains about a problem and the other one tries to offer comfort, and no one ever attempts to walk out, or threaten the other. But Lexa still felt uncomfortable knowing that she was about to drop a huge bomb on Clarke, one that could really destroy her trust.

Minutes later, Lexa decided it was time for them to get back on track. She flashed a look at the blonde, who in turn, responded by jumping on her horse and settling close behind her.

"W-what are you doing?" The warrior stuttered as Clarke put her arms around waist.

"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not very good at riding horses."

"What of your horse then?"

"Well I'm sure it'll follow us. Or find its way back to camp. Horses are smarter than you think. Plus, it would save us a lot of time if I rode with you."

The commander knew what Clarke was planning, and she wasn't just gonna sit there and not put up a fight. "Well you won't learn by sitting at the back. You should stay behind the reins."

"And risk getting us killed?" The blonde said, slyness written all over her face.

"I'm very good at riding horses, Clarke. Have a little faith in me. With my guidance, you won't get us killed."

The blonde detected Lexa's lame shot at beating her at her game. But she had no plans of letting the warrior win. She tightened her arms around the warrior and brought her lips closer to the commander's ears and whispered, "Not today, commander. Not today."

* * *

Two hours later, the horses had taken them to a lake, about forty miles from the settlement. It was heavily guarded with rocks, and the only part that opened towards the area was the path they had taken.

They would've arrived sooner, had it not been for the strange terrain that met them halfway, and the dallying that consisted of tight waist hugging and brief moments of touchy teasing, courtesy of Clarke. When Indra had taken the sky girl to the settlement, they'd taken a different route. The one Lexa and her had taken was far from what she'd ever encountered.

The part outside the rock-fortified area was inhabited by trees of different sizes that grew in unnatural directions, making it hard for the two to stay on one trail. They bore fruits that were shaped like pears, but they appeared red and shiny. The barks had a rough texture, but they formed intricate patterns that outmatched every tree Clarke had ever seen. Plants grew over-sized flowers that looked like lilies, ranging from dull oranges to bright reds that created a fiery mess. The grass gave a pinkish-purple shade that looked very elegant under the rays of sunshine that peeked past the thick leaves of the trees.

But it wasn't the peculiar forest that caught the blonde's attention. All the rocks surrounding the area were normal, but the ones that circled the lake were black and shiny, like crystals, only more elegant. They provided an intense accent to the colorful plants that settled at the bottom of the water, offering a wondrous display of colors, pleasing the artistic side of the blonde. Lexa took a small piece that looked almost, if not coincidentally, like a heart and gave it to Clarke.

"A keepsake."

Clarke nodded and accepted the rock happily. She couldn't help but grin and placed it safely in her bag.

On the far end was a waterfall that poured cascades of blues that dropped majestically on the water, forming ripples that reached the edges of the lake.

"This place, it's very… _wow_."

Lexa gazed at the wonder and inhaled deeply. "Yes, yes it is."

"So this is your hideout? Looks very easy to find."

"It's actually behind the waterfall, a cave."

"Yeah I figured that out already. Not so good at keeping your secret place hidden, are you?"

"Well it's not meant to be a secret. No one else just comes here."

Clarke noticed the hint of sadness and longing in her companion's eyes. This place was just more than just a hideout. This was a sanctuary. She decided to lighten up the mood and elbowed Lexa.

"Alright then, how do we get to your hideout?"

"We swim."

The blonde's breath hitched as soon as she heard the word. Although the closer part of the lake was shallow, she was certainly sure that the farther part was very deep, or at least deep enough for her to drown.

"You know what, how about I go around and meet you there, yes? I can tie the horse near the cave while I'm at it."

"You don't know how to swim, do you?"

"I just think it would be better if I didn't get wet because unlike you, commander, I don't own a large wardrobe."

The warrior watched as the blonde nervously stared at the water. If they didn't have such important things to deal with she would've considered giving the sky girl a lesson. She patted the girl's back as she started walking towards the water.

"I would consider walking with you, but it'll take time. Plus, I can get some things prepared while you guide the horse toward the cave."

"Okay, I understand. I'll meet you there."

The two agreed and Clarke began walking. Lexa's horse was used to being guided by her master, and she wasn't making it easy for Clarke. Lexa decided to watch her for a while, to make fun at her at a distance, but when Clarke's horse appeared running just a few minutes after, Lexa caught up with her.

"Hey, I thought you were swimming?"

"I decided against my better judgment to watch Eris here give you a hard time. Plus, your horse is here to join in so this should be fun." Clarke struggled as she clumsily escorted the horses to a tree growing near the cave.

"I see, you take pleasure in my suffering. That is _so_ you."

Lexa flinched at her emphasis. The blonde chuckled softly as she tied the horses to the tree. "You should really know when I'm telling a joke or not."

The commander rolled her eyes with a matching pout, and left the blonde with her struggle. "Well then, I guess you're on your own." Clarke couldn't help but get a little hurt that Lexa wasn't even trying to help. But, what she didn't know was, Lexa was only trying to delay the inevitable.

* * *

Clarke entered the cave and was greeted with darkness. Lexa did leave a torch for her to use. _"How very thoughtful"_ , she said, her sarcasm echoing throughout the cave. She didn't realize how slightly complex the cave was until she saw a soft glow, multiple turns away from the entrance.

" _Left, up, left, left, right , left, right, down."_

"Took you long enough," said the girl with the huge grin on her face.

"I didn't realize you were holed up in a labyrinth."

"It's hardly a maze," the warrior teased.

Clarke scoffed, but really, she was just surprised. It wasn't a large area; they could barely stand in it. But it was very cozy, and way better than the tree she once had. The floor was lined with layers of soft fur, making the hard rocks impossible to feel. There was a short table, with two cups side by side and two plates, one stacked on top of the other. There were two chests, one significantly smaller than the other and apparently, locked. There were pillows, and sheets folded neatly. There was even a candelabra placed perfectly on a carved portion of the wall that acted as a shelf, situated near the pillows.

Lexa set the small chest aside and took Clarke's bag, placing it on top of the large chest. The blonde secured the torch on the wall that revealed a better view of the place.

She was right, it wasn't just a hideout.

"You and Costia… you used to come here, didn't you? This is your sanctuary."

"Yes… This _was_ our sanctuary."

Clarke could only offer a sad smile, one that reminded her of Finn and the memory they shared at the bunker. Not that it still haunted her. It was just an important part of her, as this place was to Lexa. "You know there are so many things I want to ask about you, about your past, and it doesn't necessarily have to be about Costia. I just want to get to know you better."

"I know Clarke, as do I. But we have more pressing matters to worry about."

"Yes. And I believe you owe me an explanation."

"Right." Lexa uncovered a hidden panel underneath the pile of fur. She retrieved a box and placed it on the table. Clarke switched from her kneeling to a squat, ready to listen to what Lexa had to say.

"As I told you, I'd been busy dealing with the situation involving the girls. The first victim we saw was in Tondc. But it was only her head, and the body had yet to be found. I asked for Indra and a few warriors to scour the area the following day for any signs of the body, but sadly, they returned with two more victims, both of them drowned. I would've gone to Polis right away to secure aid from my most trusted warriors, if it weren't for the woman living nearby who brought her eldest daughter to me, her neck bruised."

"Was that girl the one back in the settlement?"

"Yes, Elaina. The warriors suspected that it could've been isolated cases. Their manner of death differed, and although Elaina didn't die, she definitely wasn't drowned or beheaded. Of course Indra and I knew better. And that's when I took the matters into my own hands."

"That's why Indra said the commander was gone; you were too busy handling this situation so you weren't able to keep up appearances."

"Well, people have been complaining a little. But they can't blame the commander for taking a little break. After all the war is over, and I just needed to take care of a few things. So I tried to investigate every detail and discovered…"

"They all looked like me."

"Yes that part was obvious, and it was—"

"Unfortunate."

"No, it was strange."

"No, it was disastrous. The Ice Queen is using me as a reason to retract from the Coalition and she's taking it out on innocent girls!"

"Nia," the name almost came out as a hiss. "Did Indra tell you that?"

"Yes. And I think I agree with her."

"See, that part is strange. I know Indra means well, and she definitely doesn't trust the Ice Queen, but the victims were all found around the area. The farthest place the killings have reached so far was only 30 miles from Tondc. The girl we saved around that area was Stella, and she was brought to the settlement hours before you arrived. You've met her; she was the girl whose bed was next to the deceased. If Nia wanted to threaten my position, she would've spread her terror amongst several areas to disengage me."

"Point taken."

"Aside from that, why exactly would she pick you out of all the people to mock me? She knows nothing of my affairs. I doubt she sent people to spy on my activities, because if she had, my scouts would've easily found them. Besides, the queen had already taught me a lesson about recklessness when it comes to personal matters, so I'm sure she expects me to have no one by my side. Therefore, how could _she_ possibly know about you?"

"Okay, if the Ice Queen was killing blondes, but she wasn't doing it to taunt you, then that means… her objective was not to threaten you. Her objective was to hunt me."

Lexa opened the box and took out an object wrapped in a piece of cloth. The blonde was visibly shaking. "Clarke."

"Lexa i-is this because I destroyed the one thing keeping the Coalition together? I mean yeah I've thought of that before but I didn't really think I was being directly targeted. But if the Ice Queen wants me…then, my surrender, would it stop the murders? Maybe this is all she wants? Lexa is this—

"Clarke. You're not the target. I am."

"What? But everything you said points exactly to me!"

"You're forgetting one crucial detail. _She knows._ And we both know that it's impossible. She couldn't have done it."

"Who else could've? You're not making sense. What makes you think that the target is you? More importantly, what makes you so sure that it wasn't the Ice Queen?"

The warrior unfolded the piece of cloth that wrapped the object. "This."

"A gun…"

"This was found on the ground next to Stella and her friend. I may not be an expert on modern artillery, but I know when a bullet is lodged into one of my people's skulls."

"I thought you were only able to save her, you made no mentions of someone else…"

"That's because we were only able to save _her_ , not her friend. The murderer had already escaped, but he left two pieces of evidence—this gun and the witness herself, Stella—and upon further inquiry, she gave me enough reason to rule out one possible culprit."

"Who then? Who is responsible for this?" Lexa looked Clarke straight in the eyes and held her hands tight.

"Clarke. I wouldn't tell you this if it wasn't conceivable, but given the consequences that followed my disloyalty to _our_ alliance, it only seems accurate that I am the target, which means there's only one group of people who would possibly want to threaten me. People who are also close enough to observe me even before this mess happened, people who have enough reason to hate the commander. And the gun? I'm sure that besides the mountain men, there is only one group capable of using such weapon."

"No… no. Lexa, no. They wouldn't…"

"I'm sorry Clarke but, they already did. The Sky People, they are responsible for this."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

An uncomfortable atmosphere enveloped the place as Clarke's stare shot through Lexa's eyes.

"That's impossible!" Clarke shouted, her fists balled tightly.

"I wouldn't say impossible, Clarke."

"I'm pretty sure they're not exacting revenge against you. My people have been through enough torture and suffering. They wouldn't want to go through that again. They just got out of a war! But _if_ they were planning to make you pay, I don't think using me as an instrument to cause you trouble is their tactic. It's absurd."

"I know you think they didn't do it, but we have proof. I can't just ignore that. My people's lives are at stake. If I don't act on it then more people will die."

"Listen to me, my people didn't do it. I know they didn't. My mother wouldn't permit such acts. Kane would stand by her, and my friends would too."

"I wronged them, I wronged _you_. That's enough motivation."

"They won't just hurt people because they dislike someone. We are not _barbarians_! We do not kill for petty reasons."

The tone with which Clarke spoke felt like a dagger to Lexa's heart. It was as if the words were directed at her. The warrior tore her gaze away from the blonde, when she realized she was visibly hurting.

"Hey, hey look at me," Clarke said as she gently cupped Lexa's cheeks. "I didn't mean to sound like I was… talking about you. But I mean it when I said my people are not murderers."

"Clarke I want to believe you when you say your people are not capable of such things, I really do. But there's…"

"But what?" Lexa shut her eyes, as if she was trying to rephrase her thoughts to avoid spilling a secret.

"What I mean is we have evidence. And if that's not enough—

"It isn't enough. Anyone could've used that gun, and I'm not accusing anyone _yet_ but, even grounders could've used it. You don't need training to be able to shoot. And Stella, I tried talking to her. But was still traumatized to speak so I doubt she provided sufficient information. And believe me I know the Arkers had nothing to do with this mess. I grew up with these people. We may have been offenders on the ark but we had morals. They wouldn't hurt any grounder, girls especially, just to get to you. Plus they're significantly outnumbered, so why would they consider starting a war? Look I don't think you're the kind to just jump into conclusions, unless…"

Lexa clenched her jaws as realization dawned on Clarke. "Lexa, is there something you're not telling me?"

"Clarke, this isn't the right moment."

"No this is exactly the right moment." The warrior wanted to protest, but the blonde had already made her stand.

"Fine. When I said the culprit escaped when we were saving Stella, I failed to mention that… I captured him. I separated from Indra to follow his tracks, and I caught him hiding under a wreck. I do not recognize him, but the way he carried himself was very akin to a sky person. And yes, Stella had a hard time speaking, but she had no trouble recognizing him. "

"Then where is he?"

"At the settlement…"

"Where exactly in the… wait… you mean the rattling above the ceiling was…"

"Yes. He was causing that."

"Are you saying you chained the suspect above the room where the girls are kept?"

"Yes."

"Did you torture him?"

"I'm not that barbaric."

"But—

"Clarke. I know that you think it's reckless to keep him up there but I assure you, it's not as dangerous as you think because—

"Because you stay up there all day when you're not doing anything except making sure that this person can't harm anyone? Is that it?" The warrior nodded, earning a dissatisfied look from the blonde.

"Lexa I know you're only trying to protect your people, but right now, I'm going to defend mine. But if you really think my people are guilty, I'm gonna need more than just a gun to believe you. So please, take me to this 'prisoner' and let me speak to him. I want to know the truth myself."

* * *

Clarke took her bag and stepped out of the hideout, but when she got closer to the mouth of the cave, she stopped. The sky was getting dark, and it was raining. She rolled her eyes and went back inside.

She was still pissed at Lexa's accusation. Her people couldn't have done it. The sky people are a fierce and dangerous group, but they are not murderers. She just couldn't understand how that was possible, although she knew the gun was clearly one of theirs. It also couldn't have been the mountain men, especially when the last survivor, Carl Emerson, was already killed by a child before Stella was rescued.

The thought of not knowing who killed those teenagers angered Clarke, but the thought of Lexa keeping the suspect close was just horrible. But she wasn't mad at the commander; she was just concerned about the commander's actions. But she couldn't blame the warrior, or accuse her of being unreasonable, especially if this girl was an experienced leader who apparently, was skilled at other things other than fighting.

Lexa placed a small pot was placed over three stones, providing room for the flame underneath. The fire was big enough for the meal to cook but it wasn't enough to keep them warm. The cave might not have been spacious but it was oddly cold. Lexa took a blanket and gave to Clarke.

"Where did you get those? I don't remember you picking up dried twigs on the way here." Clarke asked.

"We always kept some dried wood inside just in case it rained, which it always did. I dug this small pit for cooking purposes."

"What about for warmth?"

Lexa smiled lightly as she stirred the contents of the pot. "We didn't really need fire for warmth."

Clarke felt herself flush as Lexa realized the implication of what she said. "I meant… we didn't need fire, we had the blankets." The blonde laughed and sat close to the table, her elbows on the surface and her palms supporting the weight of her cheeks.

"You know we're not getting out of here until morning comes."

"I know. What do you want to do?"

Clarke smirked and raised her brow. "Keep ourselves warm?"

Lexa laughed in amusement and carefully took the pot. The blonde's stare was fixed on Lexa's face as she poured the contents of the pot on the plates. Her eyes traveled down the warrior's cleavage, causing her to break a sweat. Lexa turned around and retrieved a jar and pairs of spoons and forks from the large chest. The warrior excused herself to retrieve water, and as she exited, Clarke licked her lips at the sight of Lexa's ample behind.

Clarke covered her face with her hands, not because what she said was a joke. She got embarrassed because she realized she absolutely meant it.

* * *

It didn't take long for Lexa to return a fresh batch of water and clean utensils. She arrived and noticed Clarke hasn't touched her food yet.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"I just didn't want to start without you."

The warrior smiled. "Well I'm here so, let's eat."

Clarke watched as Lexa brought the spoon up her lips. Who knew someone so versatile at handling swords was so graceful when it came to utensils. The way she chewed her food was pure entertainment for Clarke. She was so distracted that she forgot about her own plate.

"Don't let it get cold. It won't taste as good."

"I'm sorry I just got a little distracted." Clarke helped herself with one spoon, and was impressed by Lexa's cooking.

"Do you like it?" Clarke nodded and shoved a few more helpings into her mouth. Lexa chuckled and handed her a cup of water when she nearly choked.

"It's—it's so delicious. You know I really love eating and—I gotta say this is one of the best things I've ever tasted since we crashed on earth. We've always settled on roasting everything since it was easier. None of us could really cook for shit." The blonde smiled and poured some more on her plate. "Did Costia teach you?"

Lexa shook her head. "Anya did."

"Oh." Clarke said as she slowly lowered her spoon, remembering the time she had spent with Lexa's mentor.

"She said it was necessary for every warrior to learn this skill. Man or woman or child. I was twelve when she had me prepare a banquet for _my_ future warriors. According to her, if I was to be served by my people, I would have to learn how to serve them."

"Well I suppose she had a point. Plus, surviving the wild would be easier with this skill."

"Exactly." Lexa finished her meal and finished with a cup of water. She wiped her lips and watched Clarke who was eagerly finishing her cooking. Clarke felt a bit conscious about the way she filled her mouth greedily with food, so she imitated Lexa's graceful fashion, which earned her an eye roll from the commander.

The two peacefully sat across one another as Clarke finished the entire pot. She practically chugged the jar to push the food down her pipe. Lexa could only watch in amusement as Clarke handed her empty plate.

"I have to go and wash these. You may sleep ahead if you wish."

"No way, I'm going with you. Wouldn't want you to leave me again," Clarke spat as she ran past the commander, leaving her speechless.

* * *

"Wow, this place is even more amazing at night. I mean look at the flowers. They look even more astonishing under the moonlight. And look at the lake it's… it's so beautiful."

Lexa looked at Clarke who washed her face in delight. She never really had the luxury of enjoying water as it was very limited on the ark, and when they came to earth, it was something more to be feared than relished. But this was a different situation so she made the best out of it. She had a wild thought and began splashing Lexa with water.

"I didn't bring extra clothes, Clarke."

"Well too bad," she said as she continued to splash Lexa childishly.

"Is that your best move, Clarke of the Sky People?" Lexa played along and filled the pot with water and poured it slowly and mockingly on the blonde's head. Clarke attempted to take the pot, but failed in doing so. With one hand, Lexa held it high enough for Clarke not to reach it. Lexa taunted her and began to run. When she chased Lexa to steal the pot, she accidentally slipped, causing her to almost fall into the lake. Lexa was fast in grabbing her hand, causing her to hardly pull the blonde close to prevent her from falling. The closeness of their bodies was intensified by their audible breathing, sending a thick air of tension between the two.

Lexa closed the distance between them, but Clarke pulled away before their lips could meet.

"I'm sorry it's just… it's so confusing to be around you in this… this kind of situation right now. I mean… I-I'm not complaining, in fact I-I'm very flattered. I really want you to… you know…"

"Okay…"

"It's just… I have these, these weird opposing feelings. It's like I wanna run away right now because even if I've forgiven you, we have to admit, there's still weirdness between us. But at the same time I just want to pull you into a tight embrace and… do _things_ … I really wanna be with you, I really do, but I don't think it's appropriate."

"I know," Lexa said, the pain in her voice audible.

"Look, we kissed… twice… and I know that even if we don't talk about us, we have a connection… I just, I don't think it's the right time to deal with our situation. The attacks are tied to me, and if your people find out about us, those victims' blood will be on you. Plus there's this very tiny possibility that my people are responsible for that mess so if we ever act on this, my people will not like it and I don't want to see you suffer."

"I don't mind the suffering. I care about you and that's all that matters."

"I care about you too dammit! Sure we can be together, and keep it a secret but what's the point? It's just so hard… I mean just look at you! You carry the burden of thousands of people and some of them are dying. They need you to be there for them and being with me isn't gonna help. You are the commander of the grounders. You chose your people over me once, and you're gonna have to do it again. You have to decide what's best for your people."

"Clarke, I've already decided. When I took responsibility for the girls, I told myself that if by some miracle, you weren't killed, I would vow never to make the same mistake again."

"It wasn't a mistake Lexa, you left Mount Weather for your people, and I totally get that."

"I'm not talking about Mount Weather, Clarke. I'm talking about Costia." Lexa's lips quivered as she spoke the name. "I didn't lose her because the Ice Queen took her away; I lost her because I was weak. I chose my people over her, and even if that was the right thing to do, it was _still_ wrong. I could've chosen my people _and_ fought for her at the same time, but because I didn't decide fast enough, she had to die. And it was the first time I completely felt alone after everyone else I held close were taken away from me. But because I was chosen to lead, I had to accept that, and I forced myself to move on. And my worst regret is that I never got to show her everything I felt because I feared she might suffer the consequences, and sadly, in the end, we both did. But Clarke I promise, I'm not gonna make the same mistake with you, never."

"Lexa… I get it it's just… what will our people think of us?"

"It doesn't matter what they think!" Clarke was taken aback by the commander's sudden outburst. "We have endlessly sacrificed ourselves for them. It has taken me a very long time to realize that even we _deserve_ to be a little selfish. We've given our people countless opportunities to survive, so don't we owe it to ourselves to appreciate what little pleasures this life can offer?"

"Well I… I kind of really want to be selfish right now…"

Lexa nodded and took a step closer and allowed her forehead to touch Clarke's. "It doesn't have to be now Clarke. All I ask is for you to tell me one thing… Ignore the consequences for now; just give me a simple yes or no. Is that okay?"

"Mhm…"

"Clarke… do you really want to be with me?"

Clarke tore her gaze away from the commander and kept her hands in her pockets. She took a step back and fixed her gaze on the ground. Lexa was almost upset about Clarke's response, but when she saw Clarke biting her lip while tears streamed down her cheeks, all the disappointment vanished.

"I'm sorry Clarke, I didn't mean to pressure you I… you don't have to answer—

"Yes. Yes I do. And you're right Lexa, who cares what they think? What we have now can never be replaced by anything or anyone else in this world. We'll have to deal with every encounter every day of our lives but we've already established it before… Life… is more than just surviving…"

"And whatever it is that makes life more than that, we'll do it together."

The conversation ended with Lexa planting a kiss on Clarke's forehead. They walked hand in hand back into the cave and with no further ado; they both wrapped each other in a tight yet gentle embrace. No words were exchanged. They both talked enough. It was time for them to rest.

* * *

Morning came and Clarke let out a yawn. She woke up to a missing commander, but there was already food on the table. Her bag was nowhere to be found. She took a piece of meat and fruit and hurried out.

Lexa was feeding the horses when she walked out of the cave. Her bag was already loaded on Lexa's horse, causing her to smile.

"Good morning."

"Good morning, Clarke," Lexa said with a matching beam.

"We leaving yet?"

"As soon as you finish breakfast."

"Okay. I'm almost done so, why don't you say goodbye to this place?"

"Goodbye? Aren't we coming back?"

"Well maybe for nature appreciation but… we really can't stay here for certain reasons… I don't want to tarnish your memories _with_ Costia…"

Lexa laughed and jumped on her horse and motioned for Clarke to follow. The blonde pouted and joined in.

"We'll have to go faster than yesterday. Your horse will be able to find its way to us, so don't worry. But no more distractions, understand?"

"Fine…"

"And Clarke?"

"Yes?"

"I was serious about the blankets. There were no other implications… So… don't worry about tarnishing any memories."

"Oh, okay," Clarke muttered, a little relieved.

"At least not memories from _that_ cave."

"Lexa! You didn't have to tell me that!"

Lexa continued chuckling under her breath as she wore her cloak. Clarke grumbled and eventually donned hers.

* * *

The journey only took half the time they expected to arrive at the settlement, because for one, Clarke wasn't falling behind, she was just… asleep behind Lexa, her chin rested on the commander's shoulder.

"We're here."

"Oh, hey. Of course," Clarke said as she rubbed her eyes. Lexa planted a quick kiss on Clarke's cheek and entered the gates. Clarke followed a few seconds later.

Nothing changed when they got back. Of course, they'd only been gone for less than a day but Clarke expected herself not to be shaken by the sickness around her. What she didn't expect was for her concern to get intensified when they climbed the stairs to the second floor.

Two grounders were stationed outside the door, while Indra stayed inside, directly protecting the teenagers. The girls were still asleep when they entered, as were the other patients of the building. There was no rattling, only silence.

The three exchanged bows, then the two younger women proceeded to the shelf. Lexa climbed the ledges and carefully opened the latch above her. She entered as Clarke trailed her.

There was a little area for them to stand on and the rest of the small extension was occupied by a room with a thick wooden door. It was heavily sealed with bars and a lock entwined in chains.

Lexa handed Clarke the key, and nodded, permitting her to open the door herself. Clarke quickly but quietly unlocked it almost professionally. When she opened the door, and saw the man, but more accurately, the boy, inside, her heart immediately broke. She had to cover her mouth to avoid waking him up, but she couldn't stop her tears from falling.

Lexa saw the pain in Clarke's eyes and felt guilty. This man was more than just her captive. She stood next to Clarke and whispered. "Is he your friend?" Clarke nodded, but as Lexa attempted to wipe her companion's tears, the boy spoke.

"C-Clarke? Is that you?"

"Yes. Yes Jasper, it's me."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Clarke stood stunned as she darted her eyes up and down Jasper. Does his presence confirm Lexa's suspicions? Was he or the sky people really responsible for the killings?

In any case, he was probably the last person she expected to see if ever she went back to Camp Jaha, after all the pain she unintentionally put him through. The last thing she remembered clearly were Jasper's eyes filled with rage and loss, his arms wrapped around his dead lover. It was a miracle that she could even face him eye to eye despite the guilt she was still feeling. Now this person was sat on the floor, alone and exhausted, with his lower extremities chained to the floor.

"How did you find me?"

"Did you do it?"

"What? Did _what_ Clarke?"

"Did you do it? Answer me! Prove to me that our people are innocent!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Why are you even here? Were you captured?" Clarke gritted her teeth in anger. "Were you the ones responsible for the deaths of the young grounders? The girls who looked like me?"

"What kind of accusation is that?"

"It's not an accusation I'm just asking you a question."

"Well you're definitely accusing me of something I don't know."

"You lie. She is talking about Stella and her friend, do you remember them? The young grounders who looked like Clarke? I'm sure you can recall. You lodged a bullet in one of them; I doubt it's hard to forget."

The young man scoffed. "Why are you with her?" His eyes burned holes in Lexa's face. "Isn't she _the_ commander, the heartless bastard who left us to die?" Lexa's muscles stiffened, and if it wasn't for her companion she would have broken his jaw. Jasper's eyes went back to the blonde. "Why are you with this monster?"

"I saw you running away from the scene when we approached. You killed my people!" Lexa yelled. Jasper's gaze was forced back to the warrior, deeply offended by the charge. "The moment we came into view, you ran away. If that doesn't translate as guilt, I don't know what does!"

"We've been over this! I had nothing to do with that girl's death; I was only trying to help."

"Help? You expect me to believe that after you fled in panic?"

"For the millionth time I wasn't running away from you!"

"Then who were you running away from, Indra and I were the only people around!"

"I don't know I saw someone else!"

" _Lies!_ "

" _Enough!_ " Clarke shouted. "Both of you simmer down." She rested a hand on Lexa's shoulder and gave her a good grip. "I got this."

The warrior wanted to protest, but Clarke's determination was firm. Instead, she gave the stool to the blonde, allowing her to have a nice sitting. "Jasper, who did you see?"

"Indra and her asshole of a commander, apparently."

"Watch your words, peasant, or I'll rip your tongue and feed it to—

"Hey, hey! You're not that barbaric, remember?" Clarke reminded. Lexa clasped her teeth and crossed her arms, and retreated to the small corner. "And you Jasper, just cooperate okay?"

"Why are you defending her?"

"I'm not defending her; in fact it's you I'm protecting. Now tell me, who did you see?"

"I don't recognize the person. I can't even tell whether that was a he or a she. It all happened so fast."

"Okay, then tell us everything that happened."

"I don't know if it's a good idea to tell you especially if that turncoat is around."

"Good god Jasper, just tell me."

Clarke shot a look at Lexa, asking her to help with the interrogation. "Clarke I asked him several times. The only thing I got out from him was the look in his eyes when he saw Stella trembling during their meeting here. I can tell guilt when I see one."

"Of course I felt guilty, I wanted to help her. I just wasn't able to because you just had to capture me." Jasper defended.

"Because you killed her companion!"

"No I didn't, she was already dead when I arrived!"

"Really? Because I don't recall you telling me that part when I first asked. If you had told me then, you probably would not be in chains."

"You wouldn't have listened anyway."

"I would have, if you gave me the chance."

"I dunno, _commander_. I find that hard to believe considering you didn't listen to Clarke when she asked you to stay."

Lexa's eyes widened as her fists balled. Her teeth seethed with anger as the words rang in her ears. Clarke placed a hand on her arm, calming her. "We all know about your _selfish_ decision. You chose to leave our people instead of fulfilling your end of the bargain. I wasn't there to witness it, but I knew Clarke trusted you. In fact, she probably had more faith in you than any of us combined. Our leader offered you a chance to defeat the mountain, to end the countless turning of your people into man-ripping creatures, yet at the very last second you turned away. You put us—you put _her_ through hell. And I don't care what she still sees in you, but I call it bullshit. So don't you dare tell a _peasant_ like me that you would've sat and listened, when you had the guts to betray our _princess_ in the end."

The words burned Lexa like wildfire spread around her whole body. She really would've hit him senseless, had it not been for Clarke. Instead she swallowed her pride and concealed her pain. However, Clarke was already fed up, so she got up and slapped some sense into him. _Literally._

"You know it's the truth Clarke. So stop pretending like things between you are okay."

"I'll be here sitting in front of you when you're ready to talk. And maybe I'll consider asking Lexa to unchain you."

* * *

Noon passed and Jasper had not budged. Lexa only went down to cook for everyone in the room, and came back with a tray. There were two bowls of rice, one larger than the other and with one spoon each, both topped with a layer of meat and vegetables. She took the large bowl and handed it to Clarke. The smaller one she kept on the tray and gave to Jasper who reluctantly took it. However, he could hear his own insides growling, so eventually, he grabbed the bowl and started eating.

The two girls settled near the door and squatted across each other; the low seat between them served as a table.

"Wait, how about you?"

Lexa gave her a tiny smile and took out a spoon from her pocket and began digging in. Clarke grinned as Lexa took the first haul. They spoke in hushed tones as they ate.

"I didn't know you liked sharing," the blonde teased.

"Well I ran out of bowls."

"You could've used the plates," she countered.

"Fine, I like sharing."

Clarke laughed and started feasting on the vegetables. "Mmm wow," she said as soon as the aroma entered her senses. "This is _really_ delicious. You really do have a gift. Nice job, commander." Lexa smiled sheepishly. Clarke noticed the slight blush creeping in Lexa's cheeks, causing her to subconsciously bite her lower lip. Lexa caught her and suddenly the only thought playing in her mind was _'Damn Griffin, you did not just do that'._

It was clear to Jasper what was going on, he just didn't expect it. The looks those two girls gave each other were the same ones he and Maya shared. Somehow, despite Clarke and Lexa being the ones who technically caused her death, he felt guilty about not cooperating. And in spite of everything, the fact remains that Clarke had always risked her life for everyone including him, which gives him no right to hold a grudge against her, or at least not a permanent one. Plus he did say some pretty nasty things about Lexa, which in his estimation, was probably way harsher than Clarke would've reacted. He did have the right to express his resentment, but if Maya were alive, he knew she wouldn't want him to just sit and dwell in his misery, so, he didn't.

"Hey, um. Thank you, for the meal," he said as he slowly pushed the tray towards the girls. "It was very good."

Lexa nodded, while Clarke smiled in response. His eyes weren't ready to meet theirs yet but he did his best to speak without being sarcastic. "I'm ready to cooperate."

Clarke took the seat and sat in front of Jasper. Lexa picked the tray up and placed their bowl on it. She was about to go out and return them, when Clarke tugged a loose part of her gear.

"Hey, you don't have to leave, he's fine with it." She looked at Jasper with one of those _'please do this for me'_ looks, to which he approved. "See, you can stay."

Lexa placed the tray on the floor and leaned against the wall behind Clarke, who was more than ready to begin the grilling.

"Okay. Now tell us _everything._ "

* * *

"After you left camp, our people were bent on fixing and healing. Every one of us experienced suffering in various degrees, but we had to do something to ease the pain, so we took what responsibilities we could handle. Kane and Abby helped each other maintain order, while Bellamy took charge of security. Lincoln came back and helped Octavia survey the forests around to area to keep intruders at bay. Miller and his dad led groups to hunt and gather resources, while Monty and I, despite everything, were partners in whatever orders Kane and Abby had for us. Jackson was tasked to procure medicine from herbs. Wick and Sinclair managed to make improvements in our medical equipment. Harper and the others took different errands depending on what was available. Basically, all of us had jobs, even Raven refused to just stay in bed despite her condition. She was able to craft mines and other contraptions to help us get by. It was a difficult week, but by the end of it, we were slowly able to rest. And that's when I decided to leave and mourn for Maya."

Jasper took a moment to breathe and swallowed the days he would only come to remember as old memories. Clarke held Jasper's hands and comforted him. "I am so sorry that I wasn't there to help you…I truly am." She felt her guilt resurfacing. Jasper could only shrug.

"Anyway, Monty and I asked permission from Abby and Kane to leave for a while. They didn't ask us why, but we knew they understood. Miller and Harper came with us, and although Bellamy wanted to go, he still had responsibilities at the camp. So the four of us headed to Mount Weather with a few supplies and buried the people who protected us and treated us like family. We burned the rest of the bodies and later that night we just sat in silence. The following day, we took supplies that our people needed, and even if it seemed inappropriate, it was a necessary thing to do. We were able to salvage medicine, some clothes, weapons, and even food. We took what we could carry, and decided to leave. But as soon as we stepped out of the mountain, I decided to stay. They understood that I needed some time to myself, and even if Monty was unenthusiastic about it, he didn't argue. So as soon as they headed for Camp Jaha, I chose a different direction and headed as far as I could, or so I planned."

When Clarke visited Mount Weather to gather some supplies, she only took a moment to mourn the dead. It didn't even occur to her to bury someone. Her mind wandered to places she thought she'd left behind, thankfully, Lexa stepped in.

"So was that when I saw you with Stella?"

"Yes."

Lexa crossed her arms, as if waiting for him to provide a further narration. Clarke went back to listening after her daydream.

"I was walking in no particular direction when I left. At some point, I was running after something who I thought was spying on me. I stopped right after I lost sight of the person, and dismissed it as a misconception. Before I realized where I was, I saw the two girls, one of them dead, which meant what I saw, could not have been a deception. I took my gun out just in case the killer was still around, but it made the girl terrified so I dropped it and convinced her to come with me to the ark for her own safety. She didn't want to leave, she just kept crying and shaking her head, and I was left with no choice but to get help on my own."

"Let me guess. As you were about to leave, you saw someone who was not me or Indra, so you ran off instead of picking up your weapon and taking the girl with you. How heroic."

"Lexa… come on, cut him some slack…" Clarke requested.

"No she's… actually right Clarke. But I only did that to lure the person towards me." Jasper's story had the commander interested and somehow, convinced. "I ran off as fast as I could in the direction of the ark, hoping that somehow he'd follow me and ignore the girl. But I tripped and twisted my ankle, so I hid under a pile of wreckage hoping that I could fix myself before I get caught. Well I was caught but, I was hit in the head and the next thing I know, I was already in here. But I—

"Wait, wait. I have a question," Clarke interrupted. "Sorry, I feel like this is something I need to address. Lexa, didn't you say Stella was brought here hours before I arrived? Didn't the incident happen days ago?"

"He was brought here immediately. But we had to drop off the girls in Tondc first, in hopes of finding their parents. It turns out Stella and her friend were orphans and the two of them have lived together for as long as the other villagers could remember. No one identified them as relatives, so they were brought here by Indra's warriors hours before you arrived."

"Oh. I see. Okay, it's settled. Jasper didn't do it."

Lexa sighed and scrunched her nose. The information Jasper gave them negated her suspicions. The gun may have been from an Arker but clearly, he wasn't the culprit. If he didn't do it, then Clarke has a bigger reason to believe that the rest of her people had nothing to do with the situation, which basically meant she was back to square one.

Clarke stood and gave Lexa a tight hug. Lexa couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, though fortunately the hug worked and made her feel a little better. But at that point, her determination felt weak, almost as if she wanted to give up.

"We're gonna find them, Lexa. I promise. I won't let this mark the end of our mission." Lexa nodded as Clarke cupped her cheeks with both hands. "At least now we know what to do."

"Yes… I think we do." Lexa said, her ego bruised a little bit.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked.

"If you didn't fire the shot, then someone else clearly did. We're gonna want to have trustworthy people on our side if we want to pursue the murderer. And not just any group of people, we need help from those who have experience in handling guns and modern artillery. And no, we cannot involve the grounders."

"At least not yet," Lexa added. "Not until we find out the truth."

Jasper nodded in understanding, as he wanted to make up for his failure in helping Stella. Lexa approached the young man, her voice clear, but slightly wavering.

"As much as I hate to admit it, I was wrong. I should have taken a different approach when I first asked you."

"And, and, she's sorry. Isn't that right, Lexa?" Clarke mocked.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at Clarke, but eventually, she just looked at Jasper with a look that said _'you win, just let it go'_. It wasn't the best apology he had hoped for, but at least he got one.

"Now please, will you lead us to the sky people?"

* * *

Lexa prepared her own things and loaded her pack along with Clarke's. Indra pulled out Jasper's bag from a trunk and handed it to him, along with a hood, despite being cynical about the commander's decision to free him. Lexa gave some orders to Indra's men and ten minutes later, they returned with two female grounders who were tasked to tend to the girls' needs.

While Clarke was busy talking to Jasper, Indra expressed her thoughts to her commander.

"Heda, are you sure that this is the best thing to do?"

"I cannot guarantee that this is our best course of action, but it is our only option."

"The sky people might not want to help us."

"We will have to make a compelling argument then. But worry not. I know Clarke will make this work. It has to."

Lexa bid the girls farewell and promised that she would bring justice to them. Clarke watched Lexa as she held the hands of her people like they were her own family, so firm and filled with so much compassion.

Jasper looked at Stella who was now calmer. They exchanged a few looks, and while Clarke and Lexa were preoccupied by the two other girls, he went ahead and whispered an apology. The girl was happy to know that someone was helping her commander, and it was heartwarming to know that other people care about them.

Clarke gave her goodbyes, and promised they'd return. She could see the hope sparkling in their eyes as she said, "May we meet again".

The warriors stationed outside the door as the four of them left.

They planned to ride in three separate horses, though the only ones left were Lexa's and Indra's. Clarke's horse wasn't able to follow them this time, which was unfortunate. Obviously, Clarke rode with Lexa, but Jasper had to put up with Indra.

"Try anything, and I will cut your throat."

"Of course…"

"I'm serious."

Lexa hid her smile as she jumped on her Eris, and got smacked when Clarke noticed.

* * *

It took them more than half a day to reach the border between the woods and the ark. They arrived beyond dusk, but it was a quick trip considering the distance. Clarke was not making any distractions, and as Indra expected, Jasper remained behaved.

Camp Jaha felt warm, and a fire illuminated the area. The place seemed much quieter than Clarke had remembered. There were only the flickering of flames and torches, and hushed voices of the people walking around camp. It was obvious that she was feeling anxious about returning earlier than expected; but the blonde really missed her home.

The four retreated a good distance away from the ark as Clarke decided to show up in the morning. Indra tied the horses, while Lexa started a small fire, enough to keep them warm. Jasper checked the perimeter and made sure they weren't drawing attention to themselves.

"Are you sure you want to wait until tomorrow?" Lexa asked as Clarke prepared a space for them to turn in. "Clarke, you do know that you and Jasper can go ahead and return home right? You don't have to bring us yet. We can come in the morning, or even at noon. I think it would be best if you go and spend some private moment with your mother and friends before we proceed with our business."

Clarke smiled and touched Lexa's hand. "I think we'd make a better case if we went _together_. And honestly, darkness doesn't really encourage a compelling negotiation. Mornings always create a positive vibe," she said, slowly entwining their fingers. "Though I suspect you're not much of a morning person."

The commander narrowed her eyes as Clarke stuck her tongue out. "We'll go tomorrow then. And here, take this," Lexa said as she handed her piece of meat. "You can't sleep with an empty stomach."

The four shared food that grounders usually carry during their travels. It was a light meal, consisting of thin strips of smoked meat, dried nuts and berries.

It didn't take long for them to finish dinner. And since there was nothing else to do, they immediately turned in. Indra didn't sleep and volunteered for first watch. It was a quiet night but she knew better than to trust the silence.

* * *

Morning came before Clarke realized she had overslept. The brightness blurred her sight as her eyes attuned to the light. Once her eyes were fully adjusted, she immediately panicked.

Lexa, Jasper and Indra were already gone. The horses were nowhere in sight. The fire was no longer there. In fact, she was no longer in the woods.

She was in the ark, inside a room with two beds and a table. The other bed was either freshly made, or unused. On the table was the garment that she was certain Lexa had worn.

"Hello?" Clarke called as she reached for the knob. The entrance to the ark was wide open, but a large crowd obstructed the view. She ran as fast as she could but as she took the last step before the entrance, she caught a glimpse of Jasper going up a platform while holding a gun.

Murmurs immediately spread around the area as Clarke appeared. She ran past the crowd, and as she tore through the last line of people, her heart fell. Lexa and Indra were facing the crowd, their hands up in the air. Jasper exhaled as he tightened the grip on the weapon. And before Clarke could ask what was happening, Jasper fired the shot.

There was silence. Clarke fell speechless. And a few minutes later, there was only Jasper.

"Like I said, my loyalty still lies in my people."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

The whispering and murmuring of the crowd continued as Clarke ran towards the platform. Indra and Lexa's arms were no longer held up; in fact they were trying their best to get Clarke to calm down. Despite their efforts, she managed to grab the gun Jasper held and demanded answers.

"What the _hell_ did you do that for? You could've seriously hurt someone!" Jasper's throat ran dry as he struggled for words to say. His gaze went to Lexa, who gave him a nod. The sky girl's eyes moved from one person to another, until it landed on Abby, Kane and Bellamy who were all stunned by Clarke's interruption. "Was this your plan all along—to lead me back here with the commander and her general—to execute them?"

Bellamy tried to explain the situation to her, but Clarke was so consumed by the whole 'my friends are trying to kill my new friends' notion. Lincoln and Octavia were in the far back, watching intently, unfazed by Clarke's outburst, although Lincoln was a bit anxious about his ex-commander's presence and Octavia was a little nervous about Indra being there. Monty and Miller urged the rest of the people to resume their tasks and leave the rest of the situation to be handled by the council.

"Clarke, you misunderstand—

"Misunderstand what, Bellamy?" The young man froze for a minute as he looked for the right words to say. "Clarke, this isn't an execution."

"Then what is it? Is this some part of an elaborate plan to exact revenge on the grounders for leaving us?"

"No Clarke, we assure you, this doesn't have anything to do with revenge," Kane added.

"What is this then? Is this, is this a set up?" Concerned looks were offered from all around. "Did you use me to lure them into this trap?" Her blue eyes were overwhelmed as they struggled to find the green ones they sought comfort from. "Mom, did you use me to get to the commander? Because if you did then, then—"

Her breaths hitched as emotions flooded her body. The young woman could feel herself tearing up. Lexa instinctively pulled her hand and squeezed it. "Clarke," she whispered. "Don't worry, everything's fine." Indra and Jasper stepped away from the scene and allowed the chancellor to preside.

"W-what?" Clarke said as she slightly pushed the commander away in sheer confusion.

Abby approached her daughter and cupped her cheeks. "Honey, we know why you came back, with them. I know that you didn't plan to be back here so soon, but I understand that you have a mission. The commander has chosen to plead your case in front of everyone, to prove to us that their intentions were real. We didn't mean for it to come off like a trial." She gave her daughter a smile as she tucked the strand of hair that covered the blonde's face. "But you don't have to worry about anything, at all."

Clarke stopped to look her mom in the eye and hugged her. "Mom I don't understand what's happening, but I really hope that we're on the same page here."

Abby nodded and kissed her daughter's forehead. "That depends on what you tell me. Your companion has already told us her story, but I'm gonna have to hear it from you too. But before we talk, you have to eat. You slept through two meals."

"Um, okay?"

"It's fine Clarke, I'll eat with you," Lexa offered.

"Alright, but you have to explain to me what happened," the blonde said, her sapphire eyes seeking relief from Lexa's emerald ones.

"Fair enough," Lexa said as she parted her palm from Clarke's shoulder, allowing Abby to walk beside her daughter.

"It's settled then. We'll talk more when you're done. We have a lot to discuss," Abby declared. "And Clarke," Abby whispered, "you have to tell me about that look you and the commander exchanged. I may not know what you've been doing outside of the ark, but I'm still your mother."

* * *

A table was set outside of the ark, under a makeshift shed. Clarke and Lexa shared a nice afternoon meal together and sat in front of one another just like before, but somehow this time Clarke seemed a bit tensed.

"Clarke you're not touching your food." Lexa said as she pushed the blonde's food near the hand that was rested lazily on the table. "Please eat," she added, as she inserted the spoon in Clarke's clenched hand.

"Your mother cooked that for you. She mentioned it's your favorite." The blonde stared blankly at her bowl, but her thoughts were in confusion as she tried to process the scene earlier. "Or maybe… I should've cooked for you?"

Lexa's words didn't seem to pierce through Clarke's ears, and it sort of made her upset. She already ran out of ideas, so in an attempt to get the blonde to talk, Lexa forked a piece of fish meat and attempted to feed her. The gesture failed awkwardly after the blonde took the fork off the warrior's hand and placed it back into the bowl. Lexa sighed hard and returned to her own bowl. Seconds later, she scooped a spoonful of goop from her bowl and shoved it quickly but _gently_ into Clarke's mouth without warning. Clarke frowned, but she did chew the food, exaggeratingly. She swallowed hard and refused to take another bite. Raven who had been watching from afar looked at the two with genuine amusement.

"How did we get here? Weren't we in the woods last night? Am I imagining things?"

"We _were_ in the woods last night. After you fell asleep, Indra and I kept watching the area in case anyone found us. As fate might have it, your friend Monty was passing by with two others and spotted you first. They thought Indra and I were keeping you hostage so they aimed their guns at us. Fortunately, Jasper woke up in time to tell them that it was fine. If I am to restate his words he said _'It's okay guys, it's all good'_."

"Did that really happen? Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You were fast asleep," the warrior said, an unintentional chuckle escaping her mouth. "I've never seen anyone in that kind of state before, plus you were snoring very loudly."

"Oh-kay… That part you didn't have to add," she said, hues of red replacing her peach skin. "Did you carry me?"

"Unfortunately, I missed the opportunity to do so. I did volunteer to carry you but, they didn't trust us. Monty had Jasper carry you, while my hands were tied behind my back, as were Indra's. It was not a very comfortable thing to endure, but at least they carried our bags for us."

"I see. Well then why don't you use your strength on me in a…different scenario," Clarke said with a smirk. Lexa's lips quivered as Clarke teased her with a foot that kept massaging her leg. The blonde had no idea why she was flirting with the grounders' boss in the middle of the day surrounded by her people, although somehow she was doing it to get back at Lexa for not waking her. She could see the commander's breath hitch with every upward movement that she had to stop before someone else noticed.

"Well anyway, I'm surprised you didn't put up a fight."

"I," Lexa started, unable to think clearly after Clarke's performance. "I did not want to cause trouble."

"Not cause any trouble huh, so how were you in front of the entire camp earlier? Were you forced, or threatened? Did they hurt you?"

"There was no violence involved Clarke."

"What was that then, the shot Jasper fired? And why were you raising your hands like you were surrendering?"

"I explained our case in front of everyone. The three of us agreed that if one of us spoke, the rest of us would raise their hands to show that we weren't going to try and interrupt. Jasper was giving his side of the story, so Indra and I complied. He was trying to say that despite this temporary alliance, his loyalty was still to your people, but even then he was going to do everything it takes to find the murderer. Some people didn't believe him of course, and one of them came forward, threatening us with his gun. Jasper went down to seize the weapon, and went back to the platform and fired the shot, effectively shutting him and everyone up. And the rest of the speech, you already witnessed."

Clarke sighed and focused on her meal. She just woke up and there she was, immediately fed with outrageous happenings. Instead of asking what happened next, she resorted to eating silently.

Lexa stared at her for a moment, and eventually did the same.

* * *

The two finished their meal and took a few minutes to breathe. Clarke crossed her arms right after and raised her brow at Lexa, who immediately got the signal.

"When morning came, your mother approached me and asked why we were in Arker territory. She was calm, though there was hostility in her voice. I told her that we came in peace, but as expected, she didn't buy it. She wanted to know why we came with you; she needed to trust that my presence wasn't a threat to your people, especially to her daughter. So I decided to tell her everything, and when I mentioned 'death' and 'blonde girls', her eyes widened and she asked me to go with her."

"Wait seriously?"

"Yes, she even asked me to explain everything to Bellamy and Kane, and when I told them, something about their reaction proved that they know something we don't."

"Does that mean they _are_ involved in this mess? But we already ruled out that they had nothing to do with this. Plus I thought I had nothing to worry about, my mother said so."

"Of course she told you not to worry, she's your mother. But I know that based on her initial reaction, I assume we are one way or another facing the same threat, though about them being involved is something I can't confirm or deny, for now."

"Wait, how do you know that?"

"She was whispering something to Kane after I finished explaining. Whether that means they're involved or not, the important thing is that implies they need us too. Because if we didn't have the same problem, I wouldn't be here talking to you."

"So did she tell you anything yet?"

"No I don't know anything yet. She won't tell me, at least not until she is able to speak with you. But I know I couldn't just wait for her to offer us something, so I decided to ask for it by telling everyone about our intentions. Asking isn't one of my good qualities, but I had to act. And that's how Indra, Jasper and I ended up on the platform."

"But Lexa, don't you think telling everyone was a big risk?"

Lexa straightened herself and leaned against the chair, hoping that if Clarke reacted the way she predicted, she'd feel less nervous. "It was dangerous, in fact a lot of them held their guns and—

"So you risked your life just like that?" Clarke said, her fists hitting the metal table hard, just as Lexa predicted. The sound of her hands colliding with the metal surface echoed, causing Abby to turn and try talking daughter down. Kane pulled Abby just in time before stepping out of the ark, avoiding a potential mess. Clarke hissed as redness crept around her fist. Raven who was now concerned by what she was witnessing, carefully limped her way to the two. "You should've woken me!"

"Risking my life isn't really news, Clarke."

"But that was really reckless!"

"Don't worry, I explained everything to them as honestly as I could, I even asked Jasper to help convince your people that our intentions were of a moral cause."

"And did that work? I imagine not."

"I would not say it didn't, although there was a slight commotion, what with the gun threats and all … But I think your council understands the situation pretty well. I was hoping your people have become more civil than our first encounter though."

"What did you expect? Look, no offense Lexa but even if my people are willing to help, they would rather listen to me than to you."

"No offense Clarke, but I think your people would rather pay heed to me, rather than the ally who's trying to defend the enemy."

Clarke leaned in closer and gripped the warrior's wrist. "Lexa, if any of you had said anything slightly wrong, you would've been shot! That's something any of the council members can't stop. If you think what you did was okay, which maybe it was, it was still risky. You should've talked to me first."

Lexa took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "Clarke we only did that to prove to your people that we weren't hiding anything—that our intentions were for the safety of my people and yours. If anything, your mother may be the one hiding something from your people!"

"No way, it's impossible. We're not going back to this again."

"All I'm saying is if my speculations are true, then your mother and Kane would not allow any of your friends to shoot me. They need my cooperation. And after all, the last thing they want is war."

Clarke slumped against the back of her seat and slapped a palm on her forehead. "I just think it was pointless, and risky and just… plain _stupid_. And just because Jasper talked on your behalf, doesn't mean my people would be easily convinced. They might even think that you just blackmailed him to do your bidding. No matter how honest you say you are, they still think you're the enemy, and I can't…"

"They will help us, Clarke."

Clarke gritted her teeth and banged the table once more, causing Lexa to slightly jump out of her seat. "Lexa _if_ they decide _not_ to help, you know that I can't… that I might have to go against my people to defend you. And we both know that won't end well so please… just…"

"Hey, Griffin," Raven said as she sloppily made her way towards her friend. Lexa offered her seat to the mechanic, who politely declined. "No thanks, I'm… good."

"Raven," Clarke said as she buried her face in her friend's shoulder. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, _princess_ ," she said with a hug.

"Ugh," Clarke exclaimed with an eye roll.

"So… that was quite a performance."

"I was only expressing my concern," Clarke defended. "What they did back there? That was completely dangerous. One of our people could've shot them, and you know that it could lead to another war right?"

"Well… you know that I'm not talking about that, right?" Raven said with a knowing smile. Lexa blushed as she averted her gaze from the two girls.

"We're uh, we're not…" Clarke said, "Not officially… you know."

"Not yet," Raven clarified. It was the blonde's turn to blush and avert her gaze.

"Well for the record, they really did present their case outstandingly. In fact, I'm willing to bet that our people are willing to offer any assistance and be under the direct order of the commander. I know I am."

"Are you serious?" Clarke asked, her tone filled with shock.

"For real, Clarke. You have no idea how long we've been wanting to address the same issue to our people." She said, a long sigh escaping her mouth. "And standing in front of us unarmed was a very risky yet admirable thing to do, commander," Raven added with a nod to Lexa.

"Wait, what? The same issue?"

"I… uh. Shit, I've said too much." Raven bit her lip, while Lexa leaned closer to the table. She covered her face with a palm, immediately regretting what she spilled. Clarke pulled her friend's hand away as she urged her to speak.

"No Raven that was just the tip of the iceberg. Tell me what you know."

"I'm afraid it's not my place to tell you. But Clarke, you have to believe me when I tell you that you coming back here is the best thing that's ever happened to us. It's not just about a reunion, it's about something else. You have no idea how much this means. For now things seem like they're in the clear, but trust me, a lot of things have been going on around here that we've been trying hard to manage."

"What do you mean Raven what is going on? If the commander explained _everything_ we know to your people, what else don't they know?"

"Clarke, all I can say for now is…"

"You can tell me Raven, what is it?"

"We didn't mean it. It was… it was our mistake. We were only trying to help."

"What?" Lexa interrupted. "What are you talking about?"

"Raven, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Raven, you're needed inside," Wick called out.

"Clarke I have to go. Abby will tell you everything you need to know."

"What are you talking about? Raven? Raven!"

"I'm sorry Clarke, but I can't say more."

"Raven no, you have to tell me! I need it to come from you because I trust you! Raven please!"

"Clarke," Lexa said, stopping her from following Raven. "Don't push it. I have an idea," Lexa said as she pulled the blonde away from her chair.

* * *

The door to the medical ward burst open as Clarke gave it a kick. Lexa who was trailing behind glared at everyone in their path, allowing them to reach the room without being stopped.

Inside were Kane and Bellamy hunched over a map Miller just finished drawing. Monty was busy clicking his pen again and again, as if his thoughts were floating elsewhere. Abby had just stood right after Jackson was treating her wounds.

Their eyes were all glued to an angry Clarke followed by the commander who looked like she was about to murder someone.

"Mom, what do you know about the killings?"

Abby took a deep breath as Jackson stepped out of the room. "Clarke you need to calm down."

"Calm down? How can I calm the hell down if all this time Lexa was right about you being involved in this mess?"

"No, no we're not involved in it, or at least we didn't intend to. We are victims Clarke, just like your people," Abby said, shooting a firm gaze at the commander.

"Why would you keep that crucial part a secret to me? I told you everything I knew!" Lexa interjected.

"She just wanted to tell her daughter first," Kane assured.

Clarke scoffed and looked at Lexa who had the same thoughts as her. "What's the difference? We came here _together_."

"Well excuse us for trying to play it safe," Monty said defensively.

"That doesn't matter now. All we want is for you to tell us the truth. And don't leave out any details or I swear to all the gods that exist, I will tear this place apart," Lexa said, her tone growing more threatening by the second.

Abby huffed out a labored breath as she sat back on the bed. Bellamy nervously offered them a seat, but both girls preferred to stand. Lexa eyed Bellamy who was just slightly trembling out of character.

"So what happened?"

"When Jasper separated from us after we salvaged supplies from Mount Weather, we immediately headed back to the ark," Miller started. "But on our way back, we were ambushed."

"Harper was taken away from us," Monty said, his voice trembling with rage. "Two people clad in grounder gear came along with horses and grabbed her in the blink of an eye. We weren't able to pull our guns to stop them in time. We tried chasing them but to no avail. The next logical step was asking for help, so we ran back here and told the council about what happened."

Clarke hugged Monty who was already seconds from breaking. She rubbed the back of his head, assuring him that everything was going to be okay.

"And then what happened? Did you find her, or the culprit?" Lexa asked.

Monty shook his head. Bellamy stepped forward and gave his statement as confidently as he could.

"We arranged rescue teams of three to hasten our search. Every day since her abduction, we launched different groups in the morning and afternoon. Unfortunately, none have succeeded."

"And yesterday, we lost another girl," Miller added. "We lost Monroe."

"That's why Miller, Wick and I were out last night," Monty said. "We were trying our best to find Monroe and Harper, but like the rest of the searches, we failed."

The room fell silent after Monty spoke. Kane remained quiet despite wanting to break the silence.

"And?" Lexa asked, unsatisfied by the answers given to her. Her patience was beginning to wear out, luckily, because of Clarke; she didn't try anything too drastic.

"What else do you know?" Abby fixed her eyes on the floor as Lexa approached Bellamy.

The young man hung his head, trying his best to say the right words. He took a breath and faced Lexa with a straight face, despite the obvious picture of guilt in his eyes. "Bellamy, the commander wasn't joking when she said she'd tear this place down. So will you just please tell us the rest of the story?" Clarke begged.

"I saw her in the woods the day you left camp. She came to see me, to thank me for saving her life while we were inside the mountain, and to apologize for leaving with the commander despite offering to rescue her. We… saw each other for a couple of days. We talked about a lot of things like how life was on the ark and, she told me about life here on earth. I told her about the alliance you and the commander started, and I told her about how we were coping. We were basically sharing things we know."

"What? I'm confused. Who is this girl and why were you telling her… _things_? How is she related to any of this?"

"Echo, she was… one of the grounders inside Mount Weather who saved my life." Lexa's eyes widened upon recognizing the name, but she didn't comment on what Bellamy said. Not yet.

"One day she was injured on her way here. She encountered a mountain man dragging a young girl's headless body. She attacked him for disrespecting her fellow grounder, but he shot her and fled. She was suffering a shot to the leg, but we were able to meet up. I had Jackson and your mother treat her wound in secret, but… after that we didn't see her again. She could've been hurt, or worse, killed. I shouldn't have let her leave without an escort; she could've been attacked on her way home. At the time I thought the grounders wouldn't be happy to see her with an arker, so I didn't go for her own safety. I was only trying to help…"

" _We_ were only trying to help," Kane repeated.

"So what does this have to do with the killings?"

"We aren't sure yet but… the mountain man who survived could've been hurting girls who had the same features as Clarke. If only I'd caught him, none of this would have happened. It's, it's all my fault."

"No Bellamy, this isn't your fault," Abby said. "This has to be some kind of… coincidence. I don't think he'd abduct our girls, unless he's furious about us helping Echo."

"Well the ones who abducted Harper were clearly grounders," Monty stated, his eyes fixed on Lexa.

"And we have reason to believe the same people abducted Monroe," Miller added. "And they could've just as easily hurt Echo and those other girls too."

"But who else would be so furious to abduct and kill girls who look like Clarke? Not the grounders, I'm sure of it." Kane said. "I'm sorry to say this Clarke, but he's the only one with a motive."

"You're not wrong, that guy could have been vengeful as hell. Unfortunately, he couldn't have done it. I saw him, Carl Emerson. He's dead."

"So this brings us back to Monroe and Harper's captors then?" Bellamy asked.

"But the commander said people with the same physique as Clarke were being attacked too," Kane reminded. "Like I said, the grounders couldn't have done that because Clarke defeated the Mountain for them. Plus one of them had a bullet in her head, which leads us back to…"

"The dead man," Abby sighed and stretched her arms. "This is all too… confusing. The only ones with guns are our people but obviously we didn't do it. And as Marcus said, the grounders couldn't have done it too."

Clarke turned away from the rest of the people and faced Lexa. She was screaming on the inside, and her urge to seek comfort from Lexa's touch was overwhelming her. She was reminded of her promise to the girls they left back at the settlement, and it eats her up that she couldn't live up to her promise… until Lexa gently but firmly placed a hand on her cheek, in front of everyone.

"The chancellor is right Clarke, it's a bit confusing," Lexa said. "But the situation has become clearer now more than ever. I know who is responsible for this mess."

"Really?" Lexa nodded, and this time she was completely confident about her conclusion. All eyes were on Lexa as she turned her gaze from Clarke to everyone in the room.

"Commander, what are you saying?" Abby asked.

"We've been set up. The Ice Queen has been on to us this whole time."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 _  
_

"Who… is the Ice Queen?"

Confusion ran across the faces of the Arkers, with Clarke being the exception. Lexa was not in the mood to introduce this adversary yet after learning about her schemes. It reminded her so much of the pain she went through and she wasn't up for it yet. Thankfully, Clarke was determined to finish this conversation, so she made the introductions for her.

"The Ice Queen," Clarke started, "leads one of the 12 clans that comprise the Alliance of the grounders, the Ice Nation. Despite being under the rule of the commander, she isn't quite the eager ally. She didn't approve of a young leader, until the commander, single-handedly united the rest of the 11 clans. They stood beside each other to fight against the Mountain Men, leaving the queen no choice but to join forces with them, because if she didn't swallow her pride, she would be considered an outcast and a possible enemy to the Alliance."

"But why would she risk her place in the Alliance?" Bellamy asked.

"She has always yearned for power," Lexa explained. "When the Mountain fell, the core of the alliance, which was the only reason she joined, was destroyed. Leaders are still bound to honor the Alliance, they cannot start wars because the agreement declares peace among us. However, if they choose to leave, there is nothing I can do about it. And even then, if the remaining clans wish to continue being under my rule, the queen will want to seize power from me. But she cannot do that unless I am proven unworthy of my position."

"But how will she do that? She can't just dig out your flaws after you saved your people from the mountain," Kane pointed out.

"But Clarke defeated the mountain," Abby said. "Although I admit that their fall wouldn't have been possible if the commander hadn't left."

"So why would she harass the two leaders responsible for keeping her nation safe? Their power to rule is what kept her people from dying." Bellamy was still obviously confused, as were Monty and Miller. Kane and Clarke were still rethinking what Lexa said, but Abby had already put one and two together.

"Because she wants that power," Abby said. "The commander and the sky princess are a threat to her in terms of leadership. She knows both our people had an alliance, and if she assumed that it's still intact, then she's going to have a hard time breaking it. But if she knows our alliance was made null after the defeat of the mountain, then that changes the game. Even if that gives her two people to worry about, she knows that both groups are still trying to recover or… possibly at each other's throats."

"But… how exactly is she planning to take us out? You just said it mom, there's two of us, and one of her," Clarke said, not understanding her mother's point. "And you have thousands of warriors; with one nod you can order them to seize the queen or even capture her entire army. I on the other hand, have my people by my side. We may not win against the Ice Nation, but with our weapons, we can just as easily tear through their defenses if they ever came with an armed force. She doesn't stand a chance," Clarke said as she looked at Lexa. "She hasn't even touched me, or you."

"That's why she's not trying to take us out herself, Clarke," Lexa answered. Her forehead creased as worry took over her. "She's trying to get us to go against each other."

* * *

"That explains why the victims were from or around Tondc," Clarke said. "That was intentional. The nearer they were to the camp, the more likely will the commander think it was us who hurt their girls."

"And that explains why you thought Harper's, and possibly Monroe's captors were typical grounders. In reality, Ice Nation folks wear different garments because their territory lies far north where ice and snow dominate. Although they wear clothes similar to ours when they reach the warmer regions, they have sigils that indicate they come from a different clan. But the sky people would not notice that, which placed the Ice Queen at an advantage," Lexa added.

Everyone was subjected to a moment of discomfort as they tried to understand the state they were in. At that moment, it felt like the world just got smaller for the sky people and the grounders, and once again, they have yet to form another alliance. Only this time, they have to be more careful, and loyal to each other no matter what.

But the weight of the situation became even heavier knowing that they've all been played. It was as if the universe had conspired to make two opposing groups meet and make peace, and have those two repeat the same cycle as if it was as easy as a bad joke.

"Tell me," Bellamy said as he uneasily approached Lexa, "is Echo involved in all this?"

"She _is_ from the Ice Nation," Lexa said boldly. The rest of the people inside locked their gazes on the commander, waiting for her to say something more than just a vague answer.

"Then is she… is she who I think she is?"

Lexa briefly looked at the young man's eyes and quickly tore her gaze away from them. "No."

The rest of them didn't know what to feel or think about Lexa's half-hearted response, but it definitely calmed a big part of the young Blake. "Well that's… that's good to know."

"Something still confuses me though," Monty said. "Why blondes? It makes sense to assume that she knew how Clarke looked, and that she would abduct our girls who look like her if she wanted to threaten us but, why would she abduct blonde grounders? I don't mean to pry but does it have something to do with your past?"

Lexa fell silent, and the memory of Costia came rushing back to her. The sweet girl she deeply cared about being killed right in front of her was the last thing she wanted to remember. But at that moment, she recalled how painful it was. She was harked back to how helpless she was when it was happening, and how powerless and broken she was when it happened.

Of course, Costia wasn't blonde, but Clarke was.

Clarke didn't expect Lexa to tell her people anything; after all it was very personal. But Lexa has been very unpredictably open as of late, and what she said next meant the world to Clarke.

"Not long ago, Nia discovered I had someone I considered special. The queen thought that she my weakness, so she took her away without blinking." Abby's heart tightened as she understood how heavy this was not just for everyone, but for the commander alone. A part of her broke when she realized that the girl in front of them was just the same teenager her daughter was, young, reckless and in love. Monty and the rest felt bad about bringing up the topic, seeing how clearly painful this was to Lexa.

"I was not able to protect her because I was weak. If the queen thinks I'm incapable of protecting anyone," Lexa cleared her voice and shot a promise to Abby with a look that could make any parent cry. "She's wrong. I'm not letting that happen again."

* * *

"Don't worry I'll talk to them, you worry about talking to your friends, okay?"

"But Lexa, even if we're on the same page, you can't expect the rest of my people to just agree to your terms, right?"

"Yes, but this time it's different..."

"No it isn't. We are on a mission to save my people and yours. Remember Mount Weather? Doesn't that reek of nostalgia, at all?"

"Yes, but these two situations are far from the same."

"How is it different then?"

"You are directly involved. Your life is in grave danger and the chancellor knows it."

Clarke slumped against Lexa's body and buried her face in her companion's shoulders. She wanted to help, especially since this places Lexa at a tough position.

"I want to help you."

"It's fine, Clarke. It's not like it's something I haven't done before. I'm the commander, remember?"

Clarke nodded into Lexa's embrace as the taller woman closed her arms around her midsection. They had been inside the room Clarke spent the night in, talking about what to do next. It's been an hour since the heavy confessions were shared among leaders, and they decided to resume their talk in the evening. Lexa had already decided to make plans with the Council alone, as she urged Clarke to have a little reunion with her friends.

"We have a few hours before supper. Would you like to see them now?"

"Not yet. I'll go when your meeting with the council starts. Can we just stay here until then?"

"Of course."

Clarke lay on her bed as Lexa sat beside her. She was facing the empty bed when she first positioned herself, and it got her thinking one thing.

"Are you always this organized?"

"What?"

"I mean, you're always so neat. I know you're the commander and how you look reflects your authority as an effective leader, but your clothes look weirdly kempt even after all the battles and meetings. Even when you're covered with blood you still manage to look so… decent."

A light laugh escaped Lexa's mouth. "What are you talking about?"

"When I woke up today my bed was a riot. Your bed looks so neat it looks as if you didn't use it."

"Maybe that's because I didn't?"

"What? You mean you didn't sleep there?"

"No…"

"Where were you then? Did they keep you elsewhere?"

"I was beside you."

"Beside me? What do you—oh. _Oh_." Clarke's cheeks flushed profusely, making Lexa blush herself.

"Clarke don't worry I didn't do anything to you."

"Of course not, you're an honorable woman."

"That I am," Lexa said, a lopsided grin appearing on her mouth. "Plus I'm sure you'd remember if I did anything to you. I always make sure that when I do something, it's unforgettable."

Clarke smiled and punched the warrior playfully. Lexa just laughed continued taking the hit. Eventually, she got tired of the hitting and lay on the bed. She faced Clarke who was wiggling towards the space beneath her chin. She twitched as Clarke's breath on her neck sent a wave of pleasure through her body. The blonde slowly ran her fingers across Lexa's curves, making it hard for the warrior to breathe.

"About the meeting…"

"What of it?"

"Are you _really_ sure you don't want me to go with you?"

"Yes, I'm sure of it. There's no need for you to concern yourself with this mess, Indra will be there if I need any assistance. You've had enough problems to worry about, let me take this one."

"You don't have to do this alone, you know."

"I know."

"But—

"Clarke," Lexa said as she closed the distance between them. "Let me do this for you, okay?"

"Okay…" Clarke said as she gave up and let Lexa do the gesture for her. She was really looking forward to making plans with the warrior again, but at the same time she wanted to take a little break before things go haywire. Lexa was offering her that, and there's no reason she shouldn't take it.

And there's no reason she shouldn't give Lexa the break she deserved.

Clarke's eyes traveled down her hand that had just reached the hem of Lexa's shirt. She knew the commander looked thinner under her usual gear, but this was the most 'naked' she'd ever seen her. But that was about to change.

"I noticed this earlier but I just didn't say anything. You look good in this top," she said as she slowly pulled the shirt up. "You look more like you when you're not trapped under a layer of armor."

Lexa tried to pull herself together despite the fact that her shirt was already midway up. Being the commander, she was trained not to give up even though the odds were beating her, and this wasn't an exception. She copied the slow-agonizing teasing Clarke was doing to her, but with a little more attitude.

"Did I ever say you looked good in your clothes?"

"No," Clarke said with a smirk.

"Good because you don't."

"What…"

"You'd look better without them."

Lexa's words made Clarke quiver in sheer pleasure. The next thing she knew, she was saddling Lexa like a fine warrior mounted on her warhorse. In the heat of the battle, the 'enemy' had already started tearing her shirt like there was no tomorrow. With a quick snap, Lexa effectively unclasped the hook of Clarke's bra, causing the blonde to slightly shiver with the air pressing on to her bare skin.

Clarke pulled Lexa up by her shoulder, and pulled her closer to her chest. Aroused by the wondrous sight displayed before her, Lexa gently planted kisses on her partner's breasts. The heat coming from Lexa's breath as she licked her way up to Clarke's neck was enough to melt the blonde, turning her into a pool of lust and desire.

Lexa trailed her kisses back to the young girl's chest and licked circles around her nipples. After that she slightly changed her pace and began sucking on the sensitive spots, leaving Clarke gasping.

The warrior laid the maiden on her back and settled between her legs, making their hearts beat audibly at a synchrony. Before taking a further move, Lexa moved back to meet Clarke's lips, this time with more passion and need. She kissed her gently at first, taking all the time they both needed, and parting only when it was time to breathe. Lexa bit Clarke's lower lip, causing the blonde to bite back in pleasure. Surprised by Clarke's enthusiasm, Lexa added a little tongue, to which Clarke responded, causing them both to attack each other relentlessly.

Clarke made no plans of staying under the commander's rule, not in this situation anyway. She pushed herself up with her elbows and tried to flip the commander using her strength, but Lexa pinned her down without even trying. Gravity was obviously on her side, Clarke thought.

Clarke continued with her attempts to turn the tides, and just as she was able to throw Lexa's guard off with her knee rubbing on the warrior's sensitive spot, the door to the room swung open.

"Griffin, there's been a slight change of plans because Ms. Grounder here has a date with _oh my god_ Octavia shut the—

"Way ahead of you."

* * *

Clarke donned back her bra and top quick as the eye can see. Both Lexa and she were burning red from the situation Raven and Octavia caught them in.

"And here I thought Octavia was the only one who had a little grounder in her," Raven said as quirked her brows at Lexa. "If you know what I mean."

Lexa quickly averted her gaze from Raven who was endlessly teasing them with her remarks. "I've always dreamed about unicorns when I was a kid, but, I guess you prefer a stallion, huh Clarke?"

Octavia placed a palm on her face, hiding the blush that was still creeping up her cheeks. The thought of seeing her ex-commander battling in bed with her friend was just so personal, whereas Raven thinks this was a very hilarious scene.

"Quit it, Raven," Clarke said as she escorted Lexa out of the room. "You really don't have to leave but," Clarke whispered. "You know."

Lexa gave a nervous chuckle and replied, "I know."

"Where will you stay?"

"Outside. Maybe I'll have a word with Indra."

"Okay," Clarke said while resting her forehead on Lexa's. "Can I see you before dinner?"

"Absolutely," Lexa replied, planting a kiss on the blonde's forehead before completely closing the door.

Raven was already on the bed grinning ear to ear when Clarke turned around. Octavia was sitting beside their ridiculous friend, her face brimming with apology.

"That was not cool, Raven."

"You were the one trying to flip the commander on her back. That was not cool," Raven remarked. "It was _hot_."

Clarke ignored Raven's dorky remarks and approached Octavia. They still haven't spoken since Tondc happened. They haven't talked to each other without one of them trying to turn the conversation into a brawl, and this was their opportunity to mend what was damaged.

"Octavia… I know you can never forgive me, but you have to know that… I'm very sorry about what happened in Tondc. I know, I know, words aren't enough and they cannot bring back the lives that were lost… and you could've died in there and I, I'm just really sorry… I panicked, and it's not an excuse. I really would've gone back, had it not been for…"

"The commander," Octavia said weakly. "I know Clarke, I know."

"But please don't blame her for everything. I am in as much fault as she was back then. And, as much as I want you to hold me liable for listening to her, all I can say is… I owe her my life. She let her people burn to save me. And even if she left us during the battle, she did that for her people. It was her way of preventing more sacrifices; no one can blame her for doing her duties, and she sucked it up… even if that meant I had to die. She sacrificed a lot for me, and the one time she didn't she did it to save many. I understand what she did, so I hope you do too… and again, I'm sorry for being such a complete asshole."

"It's okay Clarke, we've been a little edgy ourselves," Raven said.

"But seriously, I hope you understand why the commander is here with me. She is here to help us, and we should help her too."

"Clarke, if there's one thing Lincoln taught me, it's to understand the stakes of being in battle. He told me that no matter what the commander does, she always weighs the consequences of her decisions. To him, it has always saved their people, and even if it can be unethical in most cases, sacrifices have to be done," Octavia replied.

"We all make sacrifices," Raven added. "But we're well aware the commander knows it better than anyone in this world."

Octavia nodded to what Raven said and continued. "Lincoln told us that at age 16, Lexa became the commander, but in that same year she lost her father. He protected her with his dying breath after a group of reapers ambushed her while she traveled from one village to another. Years before that she had lost her mother and younger brother, who were both victims to the acid fog. And just months prior to her father's death, her older sister took a poisoned arrow to the heart, in order to save her from an unknown assailant."

"And she lost Anya, whose only aim was to prevent us from getting to her second. Like a mother, she cherished and defended the commander like she was her own. And because of the situation we placed her in, the commander had to claim the life of her father figure, Gustus, with her own hands when all he wanted was to protect her too," Clarke added, her lips quivering in pain. "She's been through so much."

"We agree. It may have sucked being under the floors of a metal ship, but being above the surface of the ground where everyone could see me as a target is far worse."

"The commander has had her share of pain in an amount we can never ever equate our suffering to," Raven said. "I guess what we're trying to say is, we understand. The more people we have, the better chance we have at ending this. We are willing to help, and we are willing to receive orders from her if need be. We just, we may not trust her completely, yet."

"We hope you understand that we're still taking a few precautions, just in case," Octavia added. "Wounds take time to heal."

"And, it helps that you and the commander already—

"Raven no."

" _Trust each other_. That's what I was gonna say. Jeez Griffin."

Clarke rolled her eyes and laughed a little, with a little tear escaping her eye. It was good to know that her friends were supportive of her. Raven had always been there for her since she crashed their little party, and it pleased her that nothing has changed in their relationship. And despite the tension she and Octavia had it was great to know she still had her support.

"And Clarke," Octavia said as she stood and hugged her friend, "I forgive you. And so does Bellamy."

"Thank you," the blonde said, as she sobbed in her friend's shoulder. "That means a lot to me."

Raven couldn't help but shed a tear herself, but she's cried a hell lot of times and she's sick of it. She wanted to feel something else this time, something that didn't involve crying, if it meant she could rest from all the horror of torture for once… and if it also meant embarrassing her friend all over again.

"So," she started. "What's it like sleeping with the commander?"

* * *

Evening came quickly and it was time for dinner. Clarke met Lexa in a corner inside the camp, away from all the people.

"So how was your little reunion?"

"It was very… emotional. And invasive, very invasive."

"I see… have you and Octavia made peace yet?"

"Yes, yes we have."

"That's great to hear. I hope someday I can ask for her forgiveness too."

"Yes, and I'm sure she'll give it."

"How about Raven… has she stopped teasing you?"

Clarke shook her head and laughed. "I don't think she ever will."

"Well at least she's making you smile. That's good enough for me."

"Hahaha yeah. How about you, how did you spend your time?"

"I talked to Indra about my meeting with the council. We agreed that we would only involve a few elite groups in order to avoid alarming the bigger populace. It also helps us determine which people are assigned with specific tasks to ensure proper execution."

"I agree, that's definitely the right move. But where will you gather these elite warriors though?"

"That …" Lexa said, her hesitation obvious. "That will be discussed later."

"Lexa…?"

"Polis."

"What! But…"

"We have no choice. My best warriors have already been sent back to their villages, I can't uproot them now that we know the Ice Queen is up to something. The rest of my best warriors are in the Capital, so I have to go there myself."

"Can I go with you?"

"Unfortunately…"

"Oh come on… you've invited me once… Does the offer no longer stand?"

"It still does Clarke. But I can't take you there, not like this."

"Lexa… you can't leave, not with Indra alone."

"But you can't come; you have to stay with your people. I need someone who I can really trust in here while I gather my troops."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Two days? Three days at most?"

"No that's way too long."

"Travelling consumes time, Clarke. And preparations will have to be made before we can return so… I hope you understand. This is for _our_ people."

"Well okay. But I'm not letting you leave without any backup. I'm gonna do something about it, and you're not gonna refuse. And, and you can't argue with me."

"Fine…"

"Hey lovebirds," Raven said as she spotted the two. "Save your chitchat for later, Abby says the meeting will start _immediately_ after dinner."

* * *

Dinner was fast, especially since everyone from the council was eager to start making plans with the commander. Dinner transformed from a dining experience to a war meeting as the commander laid out the initial steps of their undertaking.

The session was dismissed way earlier than expected, as they only had to things to worry about, for the meantime.

The warriors who will be joining them would be Lexa's concern, while the sky people would only have to comply one thing in her absence, and that is Clarke's safety.

Everyone retreated back to their rooms, taking all the rest they needed for an uncertain tomorrow. Clarke was already waiting in bed as Lexa entered the room. This time, they remembered to lock the door.

* * *

The sun had not even fully appeared yet, but Lexa and her general had already finished preparing their horses. Clarke had prepared their supplies, and stood beside Lexa in silence as Abby approached.

"My daughter asked me to send some people along with you for your journey. I didn't know who would be willing to go, to be honest. Fortunately, we have volunteers."

"Commander," Lincoln and Octavia said in unison as they both gave their former commander a bow. Bellamy guided two of the four horses they found in the woods towards the couple, provisions included.

"Thank you for offering your assistance," Lexa said as she bowed in response. "Chancellor, we will be back in three days time. I understand you are to fulfill your end of the agreement?"

"Yes of course, I guarantee it."

"We'll be on our way then."

"Safe travels, commander" Abby said as she firmly gripped Lexa's shoulder, a gesture she meant more than she ever thought she ever would. Lexa nodded, her heart filled with eager desire to return even if they haven't even left yet.

Clarke led the four warriors out of the gate as Kane opened it. Clarke really wanted to leave too but she understood this was for their people, and she can't let her feelings get in the way of that.

She continued walking with Lexa as they reached the border between the camp and the forest. Her eyes locked with Lexa's once more as the warrior gave her a tight squeeze on the hand. Clarke wanted to say something, but she was terrified about being unable to control herself once she opened her mouth. Instead she gave the commander a tight hug, not minding whether her mother, or Kane or if anyone for that matter was watching.

Before disappearing completely into the woods, Lexa gave her one last look and spoke the first few words in native tongue she had ever intended for Clarke.

"Clarke?"

"Yes, Lexa?"

" _Ai hod yu in."_


End file.
